The industrial age changed romance

The industrial age changed romance

For most of human history, there was no time for romance. Marriages were arranged by families and were a purely economic arrangement designed to promote the survival and prosperity of both extended families.

It wasn’t until the industrial age that things began to change. They didn't have to rely so heavily on family connections any more. Consequently, the economic and political components of marriage ceased to make sense.

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Love & Family

MORE IDEAS FROM THE ARTICLE

Plato on love

The ancient Greek philosopher Plato argued that the highest form of love was brotherly love or platonic love.

"Happily ever after" ideal

The economic realities of the 19th century mixed with the idea from the Enlightenment about the pursuit of happiness. The result was the Age of Romanticism.

People became economically independent and love (or emotions) became valued in society. These ideals of love have been heavily promoted and marketed during the 20th century.

People often overestimate love’s ability to overcome whatever issues or problems present in their relationships.

Love can sometimes be unpleasant or painful. It requires self-discipline, understanding and a certain amount of sustained effort over the course of years. It comes with a requirement for personal responsibility.

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RELATED IDEAS

We usually consider moving into marriage in an attempt to preserve and prolong the happy romantic feelings that characterize the early stages of almost all relationships.
But in most cases, there is no real connection between those feelings and the institution of marriage: marriage tends to move us onto a more administrative plane.

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IDEAS

The feeling of fulfilment

Our relationship with ourself is as important as the relationships we build with other people. 

Our work, our hobbies and interests, our creative projects, our day-to-day experiences can be a source of both love and meaning.

The greatest sense of fulfilment is from being stretched in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.

We may help our partner figure out their issues but neglect our own. We find refuge in our partners, and sometimes a refuge where we can escape from ourselves. That is dangerous and unhealthy in the long run.

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