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The Real Secret To Intimacy (and Why It Scares Us)

The secret to a successful relationship

Research shows that vulnerability is the quality that makes a relationship last.

Vulnerability does not mean being weak but implies the courage to always be yourself.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

The Real Secret To Intimacy (and Why It Scares Us)

The Real Secret To Intimacy (and Why It Scares Us)

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/feeling-it/201209/the-real-secret-intimacy-and-why-it-scares-us

psychologytoday.com

2

Key Ideas

Why we fear vulnerability

We are afraid we will be rejected if someone finds out who we really are.

When someone is inauthentic, we naturally know they are "fake" people.

Research suggests sticking to the truth improves relationships and may help us overcome negative emotions faster.

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Vulnerability
It is basically uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.

You cannot outrun or outsmart vulnerability by making things certain and definite. The inability to lean into the discomfort of vuln...

Daring greatly

... is about showing up and being seen, about owning our vulnerability and understanding it as the birthplace of courage.

Vulnerability is not knowing victory or defeat, it’s understanding the necessity of both.

  • What’s keeping you out of the arena? Can you name the fear? Where do you want to be braver?
  • Figure out how you’re currently protecting yourself from vulnerability:  Perfectionism, Cynicism, Control etc.
What Vulnerability Really Is

Vulnerability is consciously choosing to freely express your thoughts, feelings, desires, and opinions regardless of what others might think of you.

Vulnerability is showing your rough edges ...

Accept who you are

When someone admits they are bad at something, they will probably be more respected.

Accept who you are, faults and all.

Taking responsibility

When you take responsibility for your problems, you're in control of the solution. When you blame others, you’re handing over control to someone else. And you cannot control them.

Taking up responsibility shows that you accept reality for what it is and set out to work with what you have. 

5 more ideas

Brené Brown

"Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling of worthiness. If it doesn’t feel vulne..."

Brené Brown
Life-altering lessons
  1. Don’t bottle up your emotions, become self-aware and explore your emotions.  Find an outlet such as writing, meditation, or talking to a friend.
  2. Vulnerability takes courage.  The gifts we unlock by being willing to be vulnerable far outweigh the difficulty in doing so.
  3. Show up, face fear, and move forward. Because fear and criticism will always be there in some form, the best course of action is always to show up anyway and move forward.
  4. Seek excellence, not perfection.  Focus on realizing excellence, the best version of yourself despite your flaws.
  5. Dare to be yourself – in your strengths, skills, and beauty as well as your flaws and insecurities. In doing so, you can realize your true strength of spirit.