Learn more about communication with this collection
How to challenge assumptions
How to generate new ideas
How to break out of traditional thinking patterns
Choose curiosity over clash
At least one party in the conversation should be open to the idea that the discussion is a climbing wall, not a clash.
The point of a curiosity conversation is to understand the other person's perspective. Next time someone says something you immediately disagree with, say, "I never thought of it that way before. What can you share that would help me see what you see?" When you do this, people tend to become curious about you.
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Find a common purpose
In some situations, it can feel like the discussion is not worth it. That is often because the purpose of the discussion isn't clear.
In that case, it helps to start with the big picture before moving to the details. Consider asking your counterpart to describe what kind of neighbourhood, c...
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Constructive conversations move forward
When confronted with information that challenges our worldview, we tend to close up.
However, we can learn with the right tools and techniques, not looking for victory but moving the dialogue forward.
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Develop ideas through discussion
A constructive conversation is a series of presenting an idea, getting your idea attacked, you adapt and re-explain. The expectation is that your idea gets better when it is challenged and criticised.
Successful negotiators from high-stakes international negotiations go into conversations ...
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Never interrupt. Listen carefully.
One crucial principle to keep in mind when conversing with others is to never interrupt them, even if you disagree with what they're saying.
In conversation, we may want to persuade others to see our perspective, and interrupting them is a common tactic to make our point. However, interrupt...
Curiosity as a probability algorithm
Scientists who study the mechanics of curiosity are finding that it is, at its core, a kind of probability algorithm—our brain’s continuous calculation of which path or action is likely to gain us the most knowledge in the least amount of time. Like the links on a Wikipedia page,...
Listening to the other side
We tend to focus on what we're going to say next in conversation and we fail to understand the counterargument and really listen to the other party.
Demonstrate that you're listening by reframing their position in your words and then ask for confirmation that you have it right.
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