How to have constructive conversations - Deepstash
How to have constructive conversations

How to have constructive conversations

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Constructive conversations move forward

Constructive conversations move forward

When confronted with information that challenges our worldview, we tend to close up.

However, we can learn with the right tools and techniques, not looking for victory but moving the dialogue forward.


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Choose curiosity over clash

At least one party in the conversation should be open to the idea that the discussion is a climbing wall, not a clash.

The point of a curiosity conversation is to understand the other person's perspective. Next time someone says something you immediately disagree with, say, "I never thought of it that way before. What can you share that would help me see what you see?" When you do this, people tend to become curious about you.


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Develop ideas through discussion

A constructive conversation is a series of presenting an idea, getting your idea attacked, you adapt and re-explain. The expectation is that your idea gets better when it is challenged and criticised.

Successful negotiators from high-stakes international negotiations go into conversations expecting to learn from the challenges they'll receive and use objections to refine their proposals.


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Find a common purpose

In some situations, it can feel like the discussion is not worth it. That is often because the purpose of the discussion isn't clear.

In that case, it helps to start with the big picture before moving to the details. Consider asking your counterpart to describe what kind of neighbourhood, country, world, community they want a year or a decade from now. This opens up the opportunity for a conversation with a purpose.


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I`m too humble. That`s my problem.

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