A constructive conversation is a series of presenting an idea, getting your idea attacked, you adapt and re-explain. The expectation is that your idea gets better when it is challenged and criticised.

Successful negotiators from high-stakes international negotiations go into conversations expecting to learn from the challenges they'll receive and use objections to refine their proposals.

In some situations, it can feel like the discussion is not worth it. That is often because the purpose of the discussion isn't clear.

In that case, it helps to start with the big picture before moving to the details. Consider asking your counterpart to describe what kind of neighbourhood, country, world, community they want a year or a decade from now. This opens up the opportunity for a conversation with a purpose.