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How to create a positive work environment
Techniques for cultivating gratitude and mindfulness at work
How to find purpose in your work
Another destructive phenomenon is focusing on a spouse or partner’s negative traits. The other person usually has innumerable positive qualities that are forgotten in the face of their “flaw.” Over time the “story” we tell ourselves can become so strong it can break apart an otherwise great relationship. If you realized that you were just projecting your own negative perception of yourself onto him or her, you might think twice about verbalizing your thoughts. You might as well talk into a bullhorn and broadcast, “This is what I think about me.”
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In the error of labeling, a frequently late spouse becomes “inconsiderate.” A forgetful teenager becomes “irresponsible.” In the act of labeling, especially negative labeling, you’re overlooking the details of a given set...
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What is more convoluted is that your identity becomes dependent on being accepted and validated by others but it is more powerful to withhold approval or even bully someone that you perceive is weaker. This circular power st...
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It becomes even more complicated when you begin to understand how the human brain works and that much, if not most of our self-esteem (or lack thereof) is based on cognitive distortions. Dr. David Burns, in his bestselling book, Feeling Good, categorizes them into 10 “er...
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You may be unaware how much of your identity is wrapped up in creating and reinforcing these stories about who you are. So, you may spend a lot of time in an agitated state and not understand why.
But awareness of these stories is what can dissolve them. These perceived thought dist...
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Self-esteem is a disaster at every conceivable level as it not only separates you from others, but you also can’t even work your way back to find out who they really are.
And what about the effects on you? You are not connected to yourself. It requires a tremendous amount of mental...
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Then there are the labels we have for ourselves: You knock something over and call yourself “clumsy.” If a lover breaks up with you, then you’re “unlovable.” Rehashing these critical self-judgments in our minds turns them into deeply embedded stories. Such stories are much harder to move ...
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We are programmed from birth to be a certain way or not based on the opinions of our parents, siblings, teachers, peers, and society. Each input is processed by your brain to create your version of life and how to best live it. The problem is that we are living out these stories, but we a...
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To better understand the story concept, consider common situations where the brain focuses on a self-perceived flaw that is not physically painful. It might be your height, weight, the shape of your body, or even an individual body part.
The brain will focus on the negative judgments that ...
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You can’t fix this human need to define our reality through stories. It is at the core of human language and consciousness. But by becoming aware of their impact on you and others, maybe my they will lose their power, and you’ll be free.
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These “stories” we have about ourselves that we project onto the world are the way we create our egos. One term for this is “self-esteem .” It is a deadly process that is the root cause of many bad behaviors. Humans are f...
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Imagine someone at work walked by you and didn’t acknowledge you. You might think they’re upset with you about a situation that occurred the day before. The error in thinking, in this case, would be “mind-reading.” You can’t read other people’s minds. It’s possible that the other person had just ...
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Much of one's identity or self-esteem revolves around the “stories” one creates to make sense of the world. Many people's stories involve judgment and labelling, which are cognitive distortions. They aren't real, although they seem so. Once one becomes aware of the nature of these stories, it's e...
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The unconsciousness survival response, which is the source for the sensation we call anxiety , is far more powerful than our conscious brain. The personal and societal consequences are severe. Our “
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CURATED FROM
Much of our life energy is consumed by our efforts to define our "self.” It’s critical therefore for us to understand that our “identity” is in fact defined by our mental constructs of ourselves, most of which are created by the perceptions and reactions of others.
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