In a healthier version of events, the mom might have interpreted her son’s decision to leave in a way that was more benign and less self-focused, which would have made it easier for her to tolerate her feelings of disappointment about him leaving.
If she had thought: “I know he has a lot going on in his own life now, but it’s hard to say goodbye,” she might have felt a bittersweet feeling, appreciated him more, or maybe felt gratitude. In this mindset, she might have said, “I’ve missed you - it’s always so wonderful to see you. I’m glad you came over.”
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Chances are, we all are, or have been, guilty of guilt-tripping; it is, after all, a mostly unconscious act. Let’s educate ourselves about it, and let’s all serve the people in our lives a little less guilt and a little more love.
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