Be the conversation starter - Deepstash

deepstash

Beta

Get an account to save ideas & make your own & organize them how you wish.

deepstash

Beta

Research shows friend groups shrink after age 25. Here's how to keep making new friends even as you get older.

Be the conversation starter

Most people are secretly scared of getting rejected.  Assume that people like you and act in kind.

Don't wait for them to start a conversation. Say "hello." They might be relieved you took the initiative.

415 SAVES


This is a professional note extracted from an online article.

Read more efficiently

Save what inspires you

Remember anything

IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

Research shows friend groups shrink after age 25. Here's how to keep making new friends even as you get older.

Research shows friend groups shrink after age 25. Here's how to keep making new friends even as you get older.

https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-make-friends-as-an-adult-2018-10

businessinsider.com

3

Key Ideas

Be a regular

The best way to have friends is to interact with the same person regularly.

Look for activities where the same core people show up. Keep showing up yourself. 

Talk about yourself

Share some details of your life more freely so that your conversation partner doesn't have to interrogate you. If you feel uncomfortable talking too much, give yourself permission to stretch and grow.

Be the conversation starter

Most people are secretly scared of getting rejected.  Assume that people like you and act in kind.

Don't wait for them to start a conversation. Say "hello." They might be relieved you took the initiative.

SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Learning Slows Down with Age
Learning Slows Down with Age

Most aspects of mental processing slow down as we age. While we continue to accumulate knowledge of the world at a slower rate, we gain more experience that increases our wisdom.

Our minds tend to grow worse

Researchers disagree in their hypotheses about how our minds tend to get worse with age. What can be observed is the following:

  • Older individuals do struggle more with Stroop tasks, where an automatic habit needs to be overridden by instructions.
  • Older individuals have a harder time with multitasking.
  • Older people find it difficult to bind information that occurs in a combined context. It impacts their ability to remember life events.

However, older people seem to be better at emotional regulation.

Cognitive Reserve

Some people seem to age mostly with minds intact and others notice dramatic slowdowns. The brain appears to have a lot of redundancy built-in - known as cognitive reserve.

Education seems to have a protective effect on aging, possibly because education contributes to cognitive reserve.

one more idea

Be opportunistic

Learn to notice opportunities for potential friends. 
We let many friendship opportunities pass us by because we feel awkward or too shy. Instead of small talk, invite them for coffe...

Make yourself vulnerable

We have to put our fears aside that someone might not like us or may have too many friends already.

If you like someone you meet, ask to swap numbers and follow through with an invitation to socialize.

Start by doing an activity together

Suggest an activity that you can do together. It will anchor your time together and give you something to focus on or talk about.

3 more ideas

Nostalgia is overrated

If you start every conversation with, “Hey, remember that time when… ?” you and your friend will die of boredom.

You need new things, new memories, rather than using nostalgia as t...

It’s good to have “your thing”

People get busy and life has dramatic ups and downs, but if you watch Drag Race every Friday together or bake Betty Crocker cookies every month, you have something to anchor you through the chaos of life.

“Best friend” is a tier, not a person

Friendship is not a monogamous relationship; there is room for more than one. When you’ve known someone for years, try to be confident in the bond you’ve got. 

2 more ideas

Focus on Being Open

Don't worry about being rejected, or that you might not be fun enough.  

Be open and inviting.

Make a List

Make a list of people that you would like to get to know better.

Consider extending an invitation and see what happens.

Put It On the Calendar

Decide when you are going to ask someone to do something together.

Schedule these initial contacts to ensure that you won't keep putting it off.

8 more ideas

The need for close friendships

We are social beings and we need to create intimacy with other people, for the well-being of our body, mind, and heart.

Close friendships regulate ...

Defining closeness
Close friendships need intimacy and reciprocation to exist.
  • Intimacy means being able to be fully yourself and be seen and understood by others.
  • Reciprocation means that both people feel they are seen and understood by the other person. 

“We think about relationships as things that happen to us, but the truth is that we make them happen.”

“We think about relationships as things that happen to us, but the truth is that we make them happen.”

2 more ideas

The importance of friends

Having a weak circle of friends carries the same risk as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

Researchers suggest that the core factors in a happy life are the number of friends, the closeness of f...

Reconnect with old friends

You have probably met a large number of friends through just a handful of people. Those are your superconnectors. Rekindle those friendships and ask them if there is anyone you should meet.

Connecting to people

Don’t be interesting. Be interested.

  • Listen to people and ask them to tell you more. 
  • When they mention something you have in common, point it out.
  • Be enthusiastic and encouraging.

3 more ideas

Develop and maintain friendships
  • Look for friends with common interests. 
  • Schedule a "first date. There is nothing wrong with inviting someone for coffee or dinner because you think you have so...
Build deeper friendships
  • Evaluate your relationships and find out which friendships need a deeper connection.
  • Make plans that encourage conversation like going to an art exhibit, taking a class, ...
Learning a second language

Research shows that children are proficient at learning a second language up until the age of 18, roughly ten years later than earlier estimates. It also shows that it is best to start another lang...

The decline in language learning

There are three possible reasons why the ability to learn a language decreases at 18.

  • Social changes: At 18, late teens typically graduate high school and may no longer have the time, opportunity or learning environment to study a second language.
  • Interference: The rules of a first language may interfere with the ability to learn a second language.
  • Continuing brain development: Changes in the brain that continue during the late teens and early 20s may make learning harder.

Learning a new language

There are many examples of people who pick up a language later in life. Our ability to learn new vocabulary appears to remain constant, but most of us will not be able to master grammar like a native speaker.

one more idea

How to Say No to Anyone
  1. Say it fast and do not leave that person hanging.
  2. Explain the reason briefly.
  3. Propose an alternative way on helping that person.