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Research shows friend groups shrink after age 25. Here's how to keep making new friends even as you get older.
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Key Ideas
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Be a regular
The best way to have friends is to interact with the same person regularly.
Look for activities where the same core people show up. Keep showing up yourself.
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Talk about yourself
Share some details of your life more freely so that your conversation partner doesn't have to interrogate you. If you feel uncomfortable talking too much, give yourself permission to stretch and grow.
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Be the conversation starter
Most people are secretly scared of getting rejected. Assume that people like you and act in kind.
Don't wait for them to start a conversation. Say "hello." They might be relieved you took the initiative.
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Nostalgia is overrated
If you start every conversation with, “Hey, remember that time when… ?” you and your friend will die of boredom.
You need new things, new memories, rather than using nostalgia as t...
It’s good to have “your thing”
People get busy and life has dramatic ups and downs, but if you watch Drag Race every Friday together or bake Betty Crocker cookies every month, you have something to anchor you through the chaos of life.
“Best friend” is a tier, not a person
Friendship is not a monogamous relationship; there is room for more than one. When you’ve known someone for years, try to be confident in the bond you’ve got.
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Key Ideas
Focus on Being Open
Don't worry about being rejected, or that you might not be fun enough.
Be open and inviting.
Make a List
Make a list of people that you would like to get to know better.
Consider extending an invitation and see what happens.
Put It On the Calendar
Decide when you are going to ask someone to do something together.
Schedule these initial contacts to ensure that you won't keep putting it off.
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Key Ideas
Be opportunistic
Learn to notice opportunities for potential friends.
We let many friendship opportunities pass us by because we feel awkward or too shy. Instead of small talk, invite them for coffe...
Make yourself vulnerable
We have to put our fears aside that someone might not like us or may have too many friends already.
If you like someone you meet, ask to swap numbers and follow through with an invitation to socialize.
Start by doing an activity together
Suggest an activity that you can do together. It will anchor your time together and give you something to focus on or talk about.