To mentor goals, ask questions - Deepstash
Think Outside The Box

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Think Outside The Box

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To mentor goals, ask questions

To help someone understand their goals, ask questions that help them reflect on their current situation, consider potential futures, and chart a course from one to another.

In the simplest form, it’s the “where do you see yourself in five years?" question, but that’s a big leap for most people. Instead, probe for how well they understand their current situation . What’s going well? What’s not going well? What about your role do you enjoy the most? What’s most frustrating? If you could change one thing, what would it be and why?

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Concrete Examples

One way to think about the distinction is whether there are direct consequences to following or ignoring advice. Mentors advise; coaches assess. This is one reason why people often seek mentors outside the management chain. It’s hard to trust a manager to separate these two roles...

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If You Have No Stories

Let them take the lead without being prescriptive. You can still be sounding board for their ideas and help them wargame an approach to what they’re dealing with. Even without a story to guide them, having someone in their corner is valuable support.

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To mentor skills, observe them in action

First, you have to observe the mentee’s activities or output. For coding skills, code review or pair programming would work. For communication skills, sit it on a meeting they expect to actively participate in or watch them practice a presentation. For technical writing, read what they’ve written...

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Start with listening.

There’s one take away I’d like you to have: mentoring is about listening. Resist the temptation to offer unsolicited advice. Listen to what they’re asking about. Goals? Situations? Or skills? Then listen (or observe) before sharing your questions, stories, or feedback.

If you’ve...

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To mentor situations, tell stories

Faced with the question “what should I do?" , tell a personal story instead.

First, sharing a related experience reassures a mentee that they’re not alone. Second, they engage the listener’s brain, helping them focus more completely on what they’re being told rathe...

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3 Levels Of Mentor Conversations

I’ve found that these conversations fall into three broad categories, ranging from the strategic to the tactical:

  • Goals - figuring out what they really want
  • Situations - handling the unfamiliar or difficult
  • Skills - get...

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Mentoring, coaching, or sponsoring?

Mentoring and coaching activities look similar, but the impetus is different. In mentoring relationships, usually the mentee sets the agenda. In a coaching relationship, usually the coach sets the agenda. Coaching also tends to be more formal and more transactional. (People hire...

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What if you want to mentor, but people don’t ask?

Sometimes, you see someone that you think has potential, but they’re not where they ought to be and they aren’t seeking advice. You could approach them – tell them you think they have potential and offer to mentor them.

If your company has a formal mentoring program, you could sign up. If ...

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How to mentor effectively

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Questions to ask a mentor

To save the time of both of you, consider asking your mentor these questions:

  • Thinking back to when you were just getting started, what parts of your skill were the most frustrating to learn?
  • Which of those do you use on a daily/weekly basis, and which have you forgotten?

Ask the right questions

Ask the right questions

To get to the root of why a person's opinion is the way it is, one question you might want to ask is the simplest 'why?'

"Why?" is the most powerful question you can ask a person who is giving you their opinion because it allows you to determine what assumptions inform their opinions.

Questions To Ask At Tech Interviews

  • Who is your ideal candidate for this role
  • What are the biggest challenges for this role
  • Who sets the vision for this company? Informs you on the inner workings and prospects of the company.
  • How do you ...

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