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The Science of Soulmates | Science of People

Patterns

Have you been overcome by a break-up? Do you run the moment you have trouble in your relationship?

Examine your relationship patterns and connect them to your idea about soulmates. If you are a destiny believer, see if it serves you. If you are a growth believer, examine if you can learn from it.

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The Science of Soulmates | Science of People

The Science of Soulmates | Science of People

https://www.scienceofpeople.com/soulmate/

scienceofpeople.com

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Key Ideas

Destiny beliefs vs. growth beliefs

  • Destiny Beliefs: I am destined to be with a specific person. I have a soulmate. 
  • Growth Beliefs: Relationships progress slowly and we grow to fit together. Relationships take effort. You can build love.

People who believe in soulmates are more likely to break up and have difficult relationships because they look for the 'perfect' person instead of working on a relationship and growing together.

Patterns

Have you been overcome by a break-up? Do you run the moment you have trouble in your relationship?

Examine your relationship patterns and connect them to your idea about soulmates. If you are a destiny believer, see if it serves you. If you are a growth believer, examine if you can learn from it.

Changeable or Unchangeable

There is a distinction between a fundamental value difference in a relationship and an annoyance.

Think about your deal breakers. Were they fixable? Compromise-able? Changeable?

Adaptation is Advancement

When you love someone, you grow for them, you grow with them, you change together. It is a sign of strength, not weakness.

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The soulmate

It’s an ancient Greek ideal that a predestined better half is out there. Once found, he or she will bring eternal bliss.

Believing your partner was made just for you can reduce your trou...

Long-term commitments

The idea of a soulmate might be a detrimental way to look at relationships. 

Those who believe in soulmates tend to be less satisfied when they think of the conflicts in their relationships. In the soulmate frame, conflicts are bad and a sign that they are possibly not the perfect fit.

Building a strong relationship

Arriving at a strong place of comfort and trust in a relationship takes effort. 

Com­munication, collaboration and constructive conflict resolution build and sustain happy and fulfilling relationships despite not being a perfect fit from the outset. 

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Happy people are well rounded people
Happy people are well rounded people
  • They savor the moment. They "stop to smell the roses".
  • They're busy, but not rushed. A healthy work-life balance is key.
  •  They don't sweat the small stuff...
Happy people invest in their relationships
  • They spend money on others. One reason is that it creates social connections.
  • They celebrate other people's success through "active and constructive" responding.
  • They treat everyone with respect and kindness. Kindness, like happiness, is contagious.
  • They're proactive about relationships. They work on maintaining their relationships.
  • They express gratitude. It improves mood and energy and decreases anxiety.
  • They engage in deep, meaningful conversations.
The attitude of happy people
  • They're optimistic. Bad things happen to all of us. Happy people don't complain, whine or let pessimism become a self-fulling prophecy.
  • They view problems as challenges. They focus on solutions to the problem and reflect on what they're grateful for.

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Write Everything Down

When you suddenly have an idea while you are in the middle of something else, write it down. It will clear your mind. It is a catch-all for the light bulb moments.

Financial Awareness

Know exactly where you spend your money. Create a system for tracking profit and loss, and returns on investment. 

De-clutter

De-clutter your work and living space. It encourages a de-cluttered mind.

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