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The Science of Soulmates | Science of People
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Destiny beliefs vs. growth beliefs
- Destiny Beliefs: I am destined to be with a specific person. I have a soulmate.
- Growth Beliefs: Relationships progress slowly and we grow to fit together. Relationships take effort. You can build love.
People who believe in soulmates are more likely to break up and have difficult relationships because they look for the 'perfect' person instead of working on a relationship and growing together.
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Patterns
Have you been overcome by a break-up? Do you run the moment you have trouble in your relationship?
Examine your relationship patterns and connect them to your idea about soulmates. If you are a destiny believer, see if it serves you. If you are a growth believer, examine if you can learn from it.
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Changeable or Unchangeable
There is a distinction between a fundamental value difference in a relationship and an annoyance.
Think about your deal breakers. Were they fixable? Compromise-able? Changeable?
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Adaptation is Advancement
When you love someone, you grow for them, you grow with them, you change together. It is a sign of strength, not weakness.
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Believing in the soulmate concept
If you are in love with the person, believing that you are soulmates can strengthen the relationship.
However, if you are to end a relationship with someone who you thought was your soulmate,...
The existence of soulmates
Soulmates are only an artificial construct in our minds as a result of the movies we see and the songs we listen to.
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The soulmate
It’s an ancient Greek ideal that a predestined better half is out there. Once found, he or she will bring eternal bliss.
Believing your partner was made just for you can reduce your trou...
Long-term commitments
The idea of a soulmate might be a detrimental way to look at relationships.
Those who believe in soulmates tend to be less satisfied when they think of the conflicts in their relationships. In the soulmate frame, conflicts are bad and a sign that they are possibly not the perfect fit.
Building a strong relationship
Arriving at a strong place of comfort and trust in a relationship takes effort.
Communication, collaboration and constructive conflict resolution build and sustain happy and fulfilling relationships despite not being a perfect fit from the outset.
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Believing in luck
Luck is a hard thing to prove. There is no real thing we can call luck, but we can create a real object and transfer luck to it, such as a lucky penny or a lucky charm.
Studies on lucky charms
- Studies reveal that people perform better on tasks when they have a lucky charm with them. During a series of memory tasks, students who were allowed to keep their lucky charms performed better than students who had their charms taken away.
- Attitude plays a big role in luck. Someone who believes they are lucky will try harder at a challenging task. That persistence can have a self-reinforcing effect. The harder the task they take on, the more chance of success, increasing the belief that they are lucky.
A positive attitude and luck
A positive attitude towards life makes it seem like more happy events happen for a person.
While it is not rational to believe in luck, understanding the psychology behind it can explain why some people seem to be successful while others can never get to the top.