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The Science of Soulmates | Science of People

https://www.scienceofpeople.com/soulmate/

scienceofpeople.com

The Science of Soulmates | Science of People
Do you believe you have a soulmate? If so, you're not alone. According to a Marist poll: 73% of Americans believe in soulmates. More men than women believe that they are destined to find their one, true soulmate (males: 74%, females: 71%).

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Destiny beliefs vs. growth beliefs

Destiny beliefs vs. growth beliefs
  • Destiny Beliefs: I am destined to be with a specific person. I have a soulmate. 
  • Growth Beliefs: Relationships progress slowly and we grow to fit together. Relationships take effort. You can build love.

People who believe in soulmates are more likely to break up and have difficult relationships because they look for the 'perfect' person instead of working on a relationship and growing together.

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Patterns

Have you been overcome by a break-up? Do you run the moment you have trouble in your relationship?

Examine your relationship patterns and connect them to your idea about soulmates. If you are a destiny believer, see if it serves you. If you are a growth believer, examine if you can learn from it.

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Changeable or Unchangeable

There is a distinction between a fundamental value difference in a relationship and an annoyance.

Think about your deal breakers. Were they fixable? Compromise-able? Changeable?

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Adaptation is Advancement

When you love someone, you grow for them, you grow with them, you change together. It is a sign of strength, not weakness.

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Long-term commitments

The idea of a soulmate might be a detrimental way to look at relationships. 

Those who believe in soulmates tend to be less satisfied when they think of the conflicts in their relationships. In the soulmate frame, conflicts are bad and a sign that they are possibly not the perfect fit.

Building a strong relationship

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Believing in luck

Believing in luck

Luck is a hard thing to prove. There is no real thing we can call luck, but we can create a real object and transfer luck to it, such as a lucky penny or a lucky charm.

Studies on lucky charms

  • Studies reveal that people perform better on tasks when they have a lucky charm with them. During a series of memory tasks, students who were allowed to keep their lucky charms performed better than students who had their charms taken away.
  • Attitude plays a big role in luck. Someone who believes they are lucky will try harder at a challenging task. That persistence can have a self-reinforcing effect. The harder the task they take on, the more chance of success, increasing the belief that they are lucky.

A positive attitude and luck

A positive attitude towards life makes it seem like more happy events happen for a person.

While it is not rational to believe in luck, understanding the psychology behind it can explain why some people seem to be successful while others can never get to the top.