﻿Romantic love can be destructive unless we learn to control it.For example, the greatest love story you know, Romeo and Juliet, is hardly a happy one. It's a rather chaotic story involving murder, blood feuds and ending with suicide. Let your love be healthy, and not destructive or unhealthy.

Love

Many people tend to focus on shitty values, so it's important to find some good ones to believe in.Comparison of success, seeking pleasure over anything else, measuring life through material success are some shitty values. Instead develop good values like honesty, generosity, creativity and humility.

Belief

Sometimes we feel like victims, but positive change only happens when you take full responsibility for your life.When we stop blaming others, or the situation for the shit we are in, then and only then is positive change attainable.

Responsibility

We often flee when our identity is threatened, but identity is an illusion, a mental construct.Similar to a comfort zone, we form an identity of who we are. And as soon as there is a possibility of change, we avoid it, we choose the "flight" path. Our desperation to protect our identity is often more a hindrance than help. Identity is an illusion, a mental construct which isn't real, and we shouldn't let them dictate our lives. Learn to let go of your identity.

Manson's Law of Avoidance

You need to accept your mistakes and insecurities if you want to see positive change.You need to question yourself every once in a while, to know that you're on the right path, and not feeding your insecurities, or making the same mistakes.

Acceptance

Humans are terrified of death, and so they try to live on beyond it.Ernest Becker wrote a book called "The Denial of Death", where he writes about two main ideas. Firstly, that humans are terrified of dying, and secondly, humans try to create a conceptual self that will live on after their demise. This has led to war, demise and widespread destruction. The desperate urge to make a mark causes stress and anxiety.So, we need to stop "giving a fuck" about fame and power, and instead focus on the present. Live here and now.

Death

Suffering can lead to great things, but if you don't have the right values, you'll never be happy.Values are more important than success when it comes to happiness

Values

Everything you do in life will be a struggle, so need to find the right struggle for you.Identify what you really enjoy doing.

Struggle

We try to do too much in life and this leads to stress and unhappiness. Each of us needs to learn to stop “giving a fuck” about the things that are causing us pain. Choose what it is you really want to care about, and develop a more constructive approach to work, love and life itself. FORGET FOMO AND LEARN TO SAY NO

Summary

I've been a rebel all my life. And when the book says "counterintuitive approach", that was my cue to pick it up!

#1 New York Times Bestseller Over 1 million copies sold In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people. For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up. Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek. There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

productivity

Productivity

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

books

Books

#1 New York Times BestsellerOver 10 million copies soldIn this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

Mark Manson (born 1984) is a professional blogger, entrepreneur, and former dating coach. Since 2007, he's been helping people with their emotional and relationship problems. He has worked with thousands of people from over 30 different countries. He regularly writes and updates his blog at: www.markmanson.net

Manson's Law of Avoidance

Similar ideas to Manson's Law of Avoidance

Fear of failure

Create a group that consciously decides to spot biases for each other

2. Let your walls down