6: Learn to dissect other people's motivations
This is the corollary to the second habit, above. Don't just look for your "why." Ask yourself what motivates other people to do the things they do, too.
Often enough, you can come up with a working theory. You might ask more questions to clarify. But often (this is the emotionally intelligent part) you won't share your conclusions.
Why not? Because you're trying to do at least two things at the same time:
- Identify other people's emotional motivations; and
- Avoid triggering additional emotional reactions, which might be counterproductive to the result you seek.
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