Face your fears - Deepstash

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7 Powerful Mindsets of Confident People

Face your fears

When we are afraid, we don't think clearly because our emotions take control. 

It does no good to avoid, deny or ignore the fear. Instead, spend time with your worst fear.  Imagine the worst that could happen. Now focus on your breathing. Feel your body relax. You’re on your way to conquering your fear.

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Rejection is normal

It's impossible to please everyone. And rejection is a way to figure out who’s compatible with whom: getting axed from a social group gives you space to find folks that are a little more your speed. 

You’ll more likely find people who genuinely like you for you, without having to adjust your personality to someone else’s to be accepted.

It’s okay to feel pain

When we get rejected, our brains register an emotional chemical response so strong, it can physically hurt. 

We go through almost the same stages as if we were grieving (self-blame, trying to win back our rejecter because we hate being disliked, and feeling like a failure). These feelings are healthy and normal, so long as you don’t end up dwelling on them.

It’s not (totally) your fault

Rejection is personal, and it’s easy to start questioning your self-worth when someone makes it clear they don’t like you. 

But for the most part, being disliked is a matter of mutual compatibility. Keep in mind that likability has a lot to do with what you bring to someone else’s table, whether or not you realize it. 

Confidence and self-perception
Confidence is not necessarily linked to any external marker - our confidence is rooted in our perception of ourselves regardless of any tangible external reality. So improving the external, tangible aspects of our lives won't necessarily build confidence.  - Mark Manson
Confidence=becoming comfortable with what you are not

The solution to the confidence conundrum is not to feel as though you lack nothing and delude yourself into believing you already possess everything you could ever dream. The solution is to simply become comfortable with what you potentially lack. - Mark Manson

Confidence comes through failure

Those among us who are the most comfortable with negative experiences are those who reap the most benefits. Comfort in our failures allows us to act without fear, to engage without judgment, to love without conditions

Journaling approaches
  • The Gratitude Journal: Simply write about something that you’re grateful for.
  • Morning Pages: Before starting work each day, write 3 pages, long-hand, of anything that crosses your mind, to clear your head.
  • The Goal Journal: Incorporating your goals into a daily journal is a huge step to getting them done.
  • The Values Journal: Identify the values that are important to you. Then write about how the events of your day connect back to your values.
  • The Curiosity Journal: Challenge yourself to write about one thing every day that made you stop and ask a question.
What you write, you learn

The key to learning is to stop passively consuming information and start actively engaging with the ideas we encounter.

One effective way researchers have found to reinforce learning is through reflective writing: It promotes the brain’s attentive focus, boosts long-term memory, illuminates patterns and gives the brain time for reflection.

What you write, you control
  • Recording your thoughts in a medium outside your own head helps your mind to become quieter: It stops returning to the same worn-out mental loops over and over. 
  • When you recount and reflect upon your thoughts and experiences you are, in effect, telling your own story. Journaling helps us clarify, edit, and find new meaning in these narratives.