The boomerang effect happens when you deliver a message hoping to produce a certain response or reaction, but the reaction turns out to be the opposite of what you had hoped it would be.

Some of it stems from a natural desire not to conform. For those who have a stronger natural inclination to assert their autonomy and independence, doing the opposite of what you are asked or told is a way to communicate that you are in control. The boomerang effect is also sometimes called the psychological reactance theory.

We can all be better communicators and presenters and humans when we remember:

• We don’t like messages that remind us we aren’t in control.
• We don’t like to feel pressure to conform.
• We need tough messages to be delivered calmly.
• We...