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The Vicious Cycle
Victims and savers both get kind of an emotional high off one another.
- For the victim, the hardest thing to do in the world is to hold themselves accountable for their feelings and their life.
- For the saver, the hardest thing to do in the world is to stop fixing other people’s problems and trying to force them to be happy and satisfied.
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People who blame others for their own emotions and actions do so because they believe that if they constantly paint themselves as a victim, eventually someone will come to save them.
People who take the blame for other people’s emotions and actions are always looking to save s...
- you feel like people take advantage of you or use your emotions for their own gain.
- you feel like you’re constantly having to “save” people close to you and fix their problems all the time.
- you find yourself sucked into pointless fighting or debating regularly.
- you fi...
Sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the people you love.
The catch is that if you make a sacrifice for someone you care about, it needs to be because you want to, not because you feel obligated or because you fear the consequences of not doing it.
Having healthy personal boundaries means taking responsibility for your own actions and emotions, while NOT blaming others.
People with high self-esteem have strong personal boundaries. And practicing strong personal boundaries is one way to build self-esteem.
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The word “boundary” can leave the impression of separation.
But boundaries are actually connecting points since they provide healthy rules for navigating relationships, intimate or professional.
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- Know that you have a right to personal boundaries.
- Recognize that other people's needs and feelings are not more important than your own.
- Learn to say no.
- Identify the actions and behaviors that you find unacceptable.
- Trust and believe in yourself.
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- Not allowing you to speak or be heard.
- Yelling at you.
- Saying things that are derogatory about your integrity and character.
- Gossiping about you.
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