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8 Conversational Habits That Kill Credibility
Fake apologies
This is what people do when they feel socially obligated to apologize but they aren't really sorry. This ends up being even more offensive. Example: "I'm sorry if anybody was offended."
If you can't apologize from the heart, don't bother, because you're not really apologizing.
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Key Ideas
Using too much jargon
When you constantly take over normal words and use them in odd ways to make them sound "businessy", people will most likely roll their eyes.
Stick to using words as they're defined in the dictionary.
Clichés
Unoriginal expressions used so frequently that they've actually lost meaning like "out-of-the-box thinking" could reveal a lack of respect for the listener.
Avoid metaphors completely or use original ones. If that's too hard, tweak the wording of clichés to make them less cliché-ish.
Prolixity
Using big, impressive sounding words rather than smaller, common ones can leave listeners with the impression that you're pompous and pretentious.
The fix, in this case, is a big dose of humility.
Hiccup words
These are words or sounds you insert into sentences when you're pausing to think. Examples: 'um', 'like'. Too much of these will annoy your audience.
When you simply pause in silence, rather than trying to fill the thinking space with the hiccup, you end up sounding wise and like you're choosing your words carefully.
Upticks
They turn statements into questions: a raise of pitch at the end of the sentence or an actual phrase, like "........., you know?" or "............, eh?" They indicate that you're not confident in your communication skills.
Ask a specific question instead, such as "Does that make sense so far?"
Weasel words
These are attempts to disguise ugly facts as abstractions. Examples: using "development opportunity" when you mean "drudgery," or saying "rightsizing" when you mean "firing people." They mark you as a coward.
You'll get more respect and credibility in the long run for telling unpleasant truths than for pleasant-sounding lies.
Fake apologies
This is what people do when they feel socially obligated to apologize but they aren't really sorry. This ends up being even more offensive. Example: "I'm sorry if anybody was offended."
If you can't apologize from the heart, don't bother, because you're not really apologizing.
Spray and pray
This consists of blurting out a stream of facts or observations before finding out which ones (if any) might actually be of interest to the listener.
To avoid this, ask questions, respond to comments, figure out what's needed, and only then trot out facts and observations that are immediately relevant.
SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
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Key Ideas
6 Components of a good apology
- Expression of regret
- Explanation of what went wrong
- Acknowledgment of responsibility
- Declaration of repentance
- Offer of repair
- Request for forgiveness
Communicate Effectively And Sincerely
The content of an apology is only half the battle. The delivery matters as well. If you mumble, avert eye contact, or stand in the corner with your arms crossed, it won’t matter what you say.
No matter how much damage was done, a sincere apology restores faith.
The Courage To Apologize
Saying you’re sorry is uncomfortable. It can be hard to admit your shortcomings and acknowledge your mistakes. But taking responsibility is the key to restoring trust.
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Cherry picking
It is a logical fallacy and it happens when we choose and focus only on evidence that supports our views and arguments while ignoring anything that may contradict us.
The problem with cherry picking
- It fails to take into consideration all the available information
- It presents information in a misleading way.
- It might lead to improper analysis and might cause someone to paint a misleading picture of a certain outcome.
The principle of total evidence
Also referred to as Bernoulli’s maxim, it states that, when assessing the probability that a certain hypothesis is true, we must take into account all the available information.
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Causing unintentional harm
We all cause harm to our partner and the intimacy between us. We make mistakes that are foolish and unintentional and sometimes launch attacks on purpose.
When you wound another, apologi...
How to give an apology
A good apology takes two people: the giver and the receiver. An apology that heals is based on kindness, generosity, and compassion.
The recipient accepts it with grace and, in turn, offers forgiveness. Without forgiveness, it cannot heal.
The mindful apology in practice
- Repair: An apology that rebuilds intimacy should have three parts: you need to own the mistake, and then you need to repair the damage. Lastly, you need to vow to improve.
- Forgive: If you have been hurt, you may never completely forget, but you can choose to forgive. To decide to forgive means that you don't relive something that belongs to the past.
- Begin again: Unfinished business will accumulate. Let go of the small and the large wounds, so they don't pile up.