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8 Conversational Habits That Kill Credibility

Fake apologies

This is what people do when they feel socially obligated to apologize but they aren't really sorry. This ends up being even more offensive. Example: "I'm sorry if anybody was offended.

If you can't apologize from the heart, don't bother, because you're not really apologizing.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

8 Conversational Habits That Kill Credibility

8 Conversational Habits That Kill Credibility

https://www.inc.com/geoffrey-james/8-conversational-habits-that-kill-credibility.html

inc.com

8

Key Ideas

Using too much jargon

When you constantly take over normal words and use them in odd ways to make them sound "businessy", people will most likely roll their eyes.

Stick to using words as they're defined in the dictionary.

Clichés

Unoriginal expressions used so frequently that they've actually lost meaning like  "out-of-the-box thinking" could reveal a lack of respect for the listener.

Avoid metaphors completely or use original ones. If that's too hard, tweak the wording of clichés to make them less cliché-ish.

Prolixity

Using big, impressive sounding words rather than smaller, common ones can leave listeners with the impression that you're pompous and pretentious.

The fix, in this case, is a big dose of humility. 

Hiccup words

These are words or sounds you insert into sentences when you're pausing to think. Examples: 'um', 'like'. Too much of these will annoy your audience.

When you simply pause in silence, rather than trying to fill the thinking space with the hiccup, you end up sounding wise and like you're choosing your words carefully.

Upticks

They turn statements into questions: a raise of pitch at the end of the sentence or an actual phrase, like "........., you know?" or "............, eh?" They indicate that you're not confident in your communication skills.

Ask a specific question instead,  such as "Does that make sense so far?"

Weasel words

These are attempts to disguise ugly facts as abstractions. Examples: using "development opportunity" when you mean "drudgery," or saying "rightsizing" when you mean "firing people." They mark you as a coward.

You'll get more respect and credibility in the long run for telling unpleasant truths than for pleasant-sounding lies.

Fake apologies

This is what people do when they feel socially obligated to apologize but they aren't really sorry. This ends up being even more offensive. Example: "I'm sorry if anybody was offended.

If you can't apologize from the heart, don't bother, because you're not really apologizing.

Spray and pray

This consists of blurting out a stream of facts or observations before finding out which ones (if any) might actually be of interest to the listener.

To avoid this, ask questions, respond to comments, figure out what's needed, and only then trot out facts and observations that are immediately relevant.

SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

6 Components of a good apology
  1. Expression of regret
  2. Explanation of what went wrong
  3. Acknowledgment of responsibility
  4. Declaration of repentance
  5. Offer of repair
  6. Request for forgiveness
Communicate Effectively And Sincerely

The content of an apology is only half the battle. The delivery matters as well. If you mumble, avert eye contact, or stand in the corner with your arms crossed, it won’t matter what you say. 

No matter how much damage was done, a sincere apology restores faith.

The Courage To Apologize

Saying you’re sorry is uncomfortable. It can be hard to admit your shortcomings and acknowledge your mistakes. But taking responsibility is the key to restoring trust.

Cherry picking

It is a logical fallacy and it happens when we choose and focus only on evidence that supports our views and arguments while ignoring anything that may contradict us.

The problem with cherry picking
  • It fails to take into consideration all the available information
  • It presents information in a misleading way.
  • It might lead to improper analysis and might cause someone to paint a misleading picture of a certain outcome.
The principle of total evidence

Also referred to as Bernoulli’s maxim, it states that, when assessing the probability that a certain hypothesis is true, we must take into account all the available information.

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Causing unintentional harm

We all cause harm to our partner and the intimacy between us. We make mistakes that are foolish and unintentional and sometimes launch attacks on purpose.

When you wound another, apologi...

How to give an apology

A good apology takes two people: the giver and the receiver. An apology that heals is based on kindness, generosity, and compassion. 

The recipient accepts it with grace and, in turn, offers forgiveness. Without forgiveness, it cannot heal.

The mindful apology in practice
  • Repair: An apology that rebuilds intimacy should have three parts: you need to own the mistake, and then you need to repair the damage. Lastly, you need to vow to improve.
  • Forgive:  If you have been hurt, you may never completely forget, but you can choose to forgive. To decide to forgive means that you don't relive something that belongs to the past.
  • Begin again: Unfinished business will accumulate. Let go of the small and the large wounds, so they don't pile up. 
Apologies are not about right and wrong

They're about taking responsibility for unintentionally (or even intentionally) hurting someone emotionally or physically.

You apologize less because of you and your c...

The Candy Game

Pick your favorite kind of multi-colored candy. Next, pass around the bowl. Once the bowl of candy has been passed around, each person has to answer a question for each color they take. ...

Two Truths and One Lie

Start by asking each person to come up with two facts about themselves and one believable fib. Next, everyone shares their three statements and the group votes or discusses their guess for the lie. 

This icebreaker is a great way to get to know each other and to have some laughs along the way.

Paper Airplane Game
  1. Pass out different colored sheets of paper to each person attending the meeting.
  2. Ask everyone to write an interesting fact about themselves on the piece of paper and fold it into a paper airplane.
  3. Everyone launches their paper airplane to somewhere around the room.
  4. Everyone retrieves one of the paper airplanes, reads the fact, and guesses whose paper airplane they got.

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Fallacies

A fallacy is the use of faulty reasoning in an argument.

There are formal and informal fallacies:

  • A formal fallacy describes a flaw in the construction of a deductive ar...
Appeal to privacy

In this fallacy, someone behaves in a way that negatively affects others but then gets upset when others criticize their behavior. They will reply with a "mind your own business."
For instance, someone who doesn't see a reason to bathe, but then boards a full 10-hour flight.

Sunk cost fallacy

It happens when someone continues in a course of action, even if evidence shows that it's a mistake.

Common phrase: "We've always done it this way, so we'll keep doing it this way." "I've already invested so much..."

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69% of managers

...say they’re uncomfortable communicating with employees. 

And that number is significantly higher when the roles are reversed.

Analytical communication style

An analytical communicator loves hard data, numbers, and specific language. 

They're usually wary of people who deal in vague language and strictly blue-sky ideas and get drained quickly when conversations move from logical to emotional.

Working with an analytical communication style

Dos:

  • Provide as much detail upfront as possible
  • Set clear expectations
  • Give them space to work independently

Don'ts:

  • Turning the conversation emotional;
  • Framing feedback on their work as criticism.

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The first draft

The first words you write are the first draft. Writing is thinking. You'll rarely know what exactly you want to say when you start writing.

The time you put into editing, reworking and re...

Common errors

Most writing mistakes are widespread, but good writers just get better at spotting them. Some things you'll learn to watch for are:

  • Overuse of jargon and business-speak, like "utilize" or "endeavor" instead of "use" or "try."
  • Clichés are stale phrases that have lost their impact and novelty through overuse. If you are used to seeing it in print, don't use it.
  • The passive voice. The subject of the sentence should be the person or thing taking action, not the thing being acted on. "Harry wrote this article," is better than "This article was written by Harry."
  • Rambling. When you are not sure what you want to say, it is easy to phrase it in three or four different ways. A single concise sentence is generally better.
Give it some space

When you write something, you get very close to it. It is nearly impossible to distance yourself from it straight away to edit properly.

The longer you can leave a draft before editing, the better. Half an hour to two days is enough of a break to edit well. When you do edit, read your work out loud. You'll catch more problems and get a better feel for how everything flows.

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100 Calorie Packs

These pre-portioned packages usually contain little to no nutritional value, and people often eat more than one.

Instead, prepare your own 150 calorie snack by combining almonds and yo...

100% Wheat Bread Or Brown Bread

That doesn’t mean they are made of 100% whole grains. All 3 components (endosperm, germ, and bran) of a grain must be present for it to be classified as a whole grain.

Yogurt

It’s made by adding bacteria to milk, which can soothe several gastrointestinal ailments. But highly sweetened yogurts are like candy in a container instead of a valuable dose of dairy.

Opt for Greek yogurt, which is thicker in texture, and also contains double the amount of protein and less sugar than most yogurts.  

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Know your facts
How many times have you made a claim about some piece of trivia only to realize, as soon as you’ve made that claim, that you’re completely wrong?

Stop and think before you make such errors, and y...

Switch perspectives
Stepping into the mindset of those you argue with allows you to figure out what’s influencing them. 

Showing empathy will lower the temperature of the debate and allow both of you to come to a resolution.

Try to appear open-minded

If you appear to be giving the other side’s position a thoughtful review, then the solution you propose will seem to be far more sensible. Furthermore, your opponent may come to your side without you having to do anything other than listening.

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