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How Not to Care When People Don't Like You

It’s okay to feel pain

When we get rejected, our brains register an emotional chemical response so strong, it can physically hurt. 

We go through almost the same stages as if we were grieving (self-blame, trying to win back our rejecter because we hate being disliked, and feeling like a failure). These feelings are healthy and normal, so long as you don’t end up dwelling on them.

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How Not to Care When People Don't Like You

How Not to Care When People Don't Like You

https://lifehacker.com/how-not-to-care-when-people-dont-like-you-1823964733

lifehacker.com

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Key Ideas

Rejection is normal

It's impossible to please everyone. And rejection is a way to figure out who’s compatible with whom: getting axed from a social group gives you space to find folks that are a little more your speed. 

You’ll more likely find people who genuinely like you for you, without having to adjust your personality to someone else’s to be accepted.

It’s okay to feel pain

When we get rejected, our brains register an emotional chemical response so strong, it can physically hurt. 

We go through almost the same stages as if we were grieving (self-blame, trying to win back our rejecter because we hate being disliked, and feeling like a failure). These feelings are healthy and normal, so long as you don’t end up dwelling on them.

It’s not (totally) your fault

Rejection is personal, and it’s easy to start questioning your self-worth when someone makes it clear they don’t like you. 

But for the most part, being disliked is a matter of mutual compatibility. Keep in mind that likability has a lot to do with what you bring to someone else’s table, whether or not you realize it. 

Be aware of your bad behavior

While you shouldn’t always blame yourself if someone doesn’t like you, if you’re finding this is a pattern, you may want to take an objective look at your own behavior.

One way to find out what’s going on is to ask for feedback as to why you’re disliked. Then take a step back an analyze the validity of the feedback.

The people that do like you

Spending time with people that care about you can boost your self-esteem and help you to feel more secure.

Being with people who appreciate you will be in the long run a much more fulfilling use of your time and social energy.

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