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How Not to Care When People Don't Like You
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Rejection is normal
It's impossible to please everyone. And rejection is a way to figure out who’s compatible with whom: getting axed from a social group gives you space to find folks that are a little ...
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It’s okay to feel pain
When we get rejected, our brains register an emotional chemical response so strong, it can physically hurt.
We go through almost the same stages as if we were grieving (self-blam...
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It’s not (totally) your fault
Rejection is personal, and it’s easy to start questioning your self-worth when someone makes it clear they don’t like you.
But for the most part, being disliked is a matter of mutual...
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Be aware of your bad behavior
While you shouldn’t always blame yourself if someone doesn’t like you, if you’re finding this is a pattern, you may want to take an objective look at your own behavior.
One way to find...
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The people that do like you
Spending time with people that care about you can boost your self-esteem and help you to feel more secure.
Being with people who appreciate you will be in the long run a much more fulf...
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Key Ideas
Focus on Others
The biggest barrier shy people have to overcome is that they have this tremendous sense of self-focus. Popular people focus on others instead of obsessing about themselves.
Popular people are genuinely interested in other people, actively learn more about them, and look for connections.
The Art of a Good Conversation
Popular people have worked at and mastered this.
- The first step is having an opening line. The simpler the better. For example, comment on the environment.
- The next step is introducing yourself. Include enough information that the other person can ask questions.
- The third step involves conversation exploration, where the pair or group goes from introductions to a topic.
- Step four is topic expansion, building on the topic at hand by focusing on what the other person is saying.
- The final step is to end the conversation by expressing gratitude for the connection.
Take Control of Your Social Life
Popular people take charge of making dates and sending out invitations. These interactions allow them to continue to work on their social skills. Shy people wait to be asked out.
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Mindfulness is not a panacea
As the Buddhist meditation practice has morphed into a billion-dollar industry, it’s become the go-to solution for everything from depression to weight gain.
But while mindfulness is very effective for some, it does absolutely nothing for others, and pushing it on them won’t change that.
Modern Mindfulness
What has remained consistent is the use of meditation in pursuit of greater self-awareness, coupled with a rejection of the egocentric mode of existence.
Harms of Mindfulness
The lack of empirical studies on how mindfulness is practiced may lead consumers to be harmed, mislead, or disappointed in the lack of results.
For example, the idea that you should just reject your whole core and all your impulses, may be seen as a formula for depression and anxiety.
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Self-Made Millennials
Millennials who claim to be ‘self-made’ get support from their parents and in some cases, enjoy the privilege too, but are reluctant to admit the same. They have to show the world that they are able to do well and sustain themselves on their own, and any conversation around money, privilege, success and class stirs up topics they may try to avoid.
Gender Bias: Women who inherit from their parents and do well are looked upon differently than men who do the same.
The Truth About Millennial Money
- It’s important to share your real struggles, support and fundings once you find success, or it gives a distorted and false impression to those struggling without any resources. There shouldn’t be a stigma attached to getting help from parents and spouses.
- It’s imperative to have transparency about money and understand that in any structure of privilege, the people at the top have to take into account what it means to people below them, who are struggling with meagre resources or a network of supporters.