The Pain of Loneliness

When you start reaching out to people not every interaction will be a success. maybe its a small talk Or the passerby you smile at on the street may stare at the ground and keep moving. Interactions that turn out this way don’t mean you’re a failure, or that no one wants to talk to you. As Cacio...

Once you’ve resolved to become more connected with others, Cacioppo recommends finding opportunities “to get small doses of the positive sensations that come from positive social interactions”.

Each positive interaction you have gives you further evidence that you can connect with others. T...

Throughout Loneliness , Cacioppo stresses that loneliness is not a mental disorder . At the same time, however, chronic loneliness can put you at risk for depression , and social anxiety can make it harder to connect with people in the first place.

Therefore, I encourage y...

1. Don’t Blame Your Social Skills

When you’re feeling lonely, it’s easy to blame it on your lack of social skills. In general, though, a lack of social skills isn’t the issue. Rather, it’s that “feeling lonely makes us less likely to employ the skills we have” .

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Given that it shares the same root word as “alone,” it’s easy to assume loneliness is just the absence of contact with other people.

As Cacioppo explains in his book (Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection by John T. Cacioppo and William Patrick). loneliness is not mere...

Simply telling people to “connect more with others” isn’t very helpful on its own. This is especially true because each person’s genes are different.

Therefore, don’t assume that you need to be super outgoing and have lots of social interactions to feel socially satisfied. You might well th...