A constructive conversation - Deepstash

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The 7 Components of a Constructive Conversation

A constructive conversation

A constructive conversation

It transfers ideas from one mind to another and removes all obstacles from the way. Such a conversation feels as relaxing as a Sunday afternoon in your pajamas.

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Emotions During a Difficult Conversation

It’s hard not to get worked up emotionally when you’re in a tense conversation: a disagreement can feel like a threat.

But if your body goes into “fight or flight” mode,  ...

Breathe

When you start noticing yourself getting tense, try to focus on breathing (on feeling the air coming in and out of your lungs).

This will take your attention off the physical signs of panic and keep you centered.

Focus on your body

Sitting still when you’re having a difficult conversation can make the emotions build up rather than dissipate. 

Standing up and walking around helps to activate the thinking part of your brain.

Listening requires mental work
We mistake listening as easy because it looks passive and instinctive, but in reality it’s hard work. Really listening (and not just appearing to listen) re...
Mistakes we make in conversations
Our general tendency is to:
  • Evaluate: We judge what someone is saying and agree or disagree.
  • Probe: We ask questions from our own frame of reference.
  • Advise: We give counsel, advice, and solutions to problems.
  • Interpret: We analyze others' motives and behaviors based on our own experiences.
What makes a great listener
  • Asking great questions;
  • Playing attention to the nonverbal communication;
  • Forgoing taking detailed notes to pay better attention;
  • Listening with the intent to understand, not the intent to respond;
  • Making people feel heard;
  • Following up on what matters.
Don't Avoid Conflict
  • We tend to avoid conflict because we believe that it is bad, yet we continue to create it despite the fact.
  • Conflict isn't essentially a bad thing. It gives us the information we need to know so that we could work with others more effectively to improve our relationships with them and to grow as individuals.
  • In every conflict resolution phase, we must aim for: a solution, a plan, or an understanding.
Gem Statement

A gem statement is a statement that allows the opportunity to open up a new conversation with the hopes of compromisation and a solution.

This usually involves expressing your emotions with the main issue beneath all the surface anger or any other emotion being experienced while having a positive impact on the other.