Learn more about communication with this collection
Cultivating self-awareness and self-reflection
Prioritizing and setting boundaries for self-care
Practicing mindfulness and presence
Lending money to a relative does not give you a free pass to criticize their spending going forward.
Let them be free to do whatever they want with the money, and don't judge them for it. You need to see that person on their own journey and bring compassion, love, and acceptance to the table.
The best way to let go of toxic, judgmental feelings is to remind yourself you gave a gift, not a loan—even if it appears your child is blowing your "gift" on new shoes.
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Just because potential lenders should think of the loan as a gift doesn't mean borrowers should treat it as such. When you ask someone you love and trust to give you their money, it's a sign of respect to present a thought-out repayment schedule.
Have a real conversation ...
Before you get back to the borrower with an answer, you need to consult your partner or spouse if you have one, especially if the amount is substantial given your financial picture.
As with all difficult subjects, open communication is key, particularly if your partner isn't as willing...
When you ask a family member for a loan, treat it as a loan. Adhere to the payback schedule. And if you can't, start looking at plan C (because borrowing from a family member was already plan B).
Renegotiate the terms with your relative so you can keep your promise to ...
You are under no obligation to say yes on the spot when a family member asks for money—no matter how dire their situation is.
Yes, "gift." There's no other way to look at it, agree McCoy, Castro, and Hendershott: When you lend money to someone—even your closest, most trustworthy sibling—you must assume they will never pay you back and make your peace with that. "It would be nice to think they can and will repay you, and...
If you can't afford to help, say no. Your job is to make sure you're on track to achieve your own financial goals.
No one will care more about your money than you.
Focus on your loved one's underlying financial issue and see if you can help address it. Help them find the resources they need or create a budget.
Addressing the underlying issue doesn't just benefit your cash-strapped family member. It also helps you, by ensuring they do...
How we talk to each other determines a big part of how we live.
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