Stick to the payback plan—or revise it if needed - Deepstash
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Stick to the payback plan—or revise it if needed

When you ask a family member for a loan, treat it as a loan. Adhere to the payback schedule. And if you can't, start looking at plan C (because borrowing from a family member was already plan B).

Renegotiate the terms with your relative so you can keep your promise to pay. If that's not enough, get a part-time job, sell some physical belongings, ask for a raise. You'll be glad you did, for the sake of your relationship with your family—and your peace of mind.


184 reads


Do offer to help in other ways

Focus on your loved one's underlying financial issue and see if you can help address it. Help them find the resources they need or create a budget.

Addressing the underlying issue doesn't just benefit your cash-strapped family member. It also helps you, by ensuring they do...


246 reads

Rules to follow when lending/borrowing money to family members

Rules to follow when lending/borrowing money to family members

  • The first rule to follow when lending money to a family member: Assume they will never pay you back—and be OK with that.
  • And here's the first rule to follow when borrowing money from family: Pay them back.


494 reads

Don't lend money you don't have

If you can't afford to help, say no. Your job is to make sure you're on track to achieve your own financial goals.

No one will care more about your money than you.


273 reads

Withhold judgment

 Lending money to a relative does not give you a free pass to criticize their spending going forward.

Let them be free to do whatever they want with the money, and don't judge them for it. You need to see that person on their own journey and bring compassion, love, and acc...


173 reads

Discuss it with your partner

Before you get back to the borrower with an answer, you need to consult your partner or spouse if you have one, especially if the amount is substantial given your financial picture.

As with all difficult subjects, open communication is key, particularly if your partner isn't as willing...


279 reads

Trust your gut if it’s telling you to say no

  • Lending money is nearly always a bad idea. Anytime you can say no, do so. Even if the person pays you back, you've opened a door that will never close again. You become the bank—it changes how your relative looks at you and how you look at them.
  • The experts agree tha...


270 reads

If you’re hoping to borrow, come armed with a payback plan

Just because potential lenders should think of the loan as a gift doesn't mean borrowers should treat it as such. When you ask someone you love and trust to give you their money, it's a sign of respect to present a thought-out repayment schedule

Have a real conversation ...


202 reads

Feel good about giving this gift

Yes, "gift." There's no other way to look at it, agree McCoy, Castro, and Hendershott: When you lend money to someone—even your closest, most trustworthy sibling—you must assume they will never pay you back and make your peace with that. "It would be nice to think they can and will repay you, and...


215 reads

Take time to think about it

You are under no obligation to say yes on the spot when a family member asks for money—no matter how dire their situation is.

  • Say, 'I would love to be able to help you. Let me think about whether this is best for me.'
  • Pause and reflect before answeri...


371 reads




How we talk to each other determines a big part of how we live.

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The perfect time to ask

  • If your performance review is coming up, plan to raise the topic after receiving favorable feedback.
  • If you don't have a performance review on the horizon, you could schedule a salary discussion a few months before the yearly budget is set.


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