Learn more about communication with this collection
How to practice self-compassion
How to identify and challenge negative self-talk
How to build self-confidence
Sharing The Memory
Question: If a friend told you that this memory happened to them, what would you tell them?
A lot of the time, it would be a really funny story that both of you would be laughing about. Or, you might say that it doesn’t sound like a big deal and chances are nobody even noticed. Or you might say, “You’re right, that’s super awkward, but anyone whose opinion matters would still think you’re awesome.”
You probably wouldn’t tell your friend any of the things you tell yourself when you’re thinking of this memory.
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MORE IDEAS ON THIS
The Incident Being Common And Normal With Others
Question: How many times do you think other people have experienced the same thing you did, or something similar to it?
It’s probably quite common if your memory involves drawing an awkward blank during a job interview or saying “you too” to the server who says that they hope you ...
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The Bottom Line
If someone treated you badly, or if your embarrassment was caused by acting in a way that conflicted with your own values, you might be feeling shame or guilt, not just embarrassment. In that case, this advice might not be applicable.
Otherwise, letting the memory happen, feeling the feelin...
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Different Points Of View
Question: Can you try thinking about the memory from someone else’s point of view?
Say your memory is of stumbling over your words while giving a speech. What might an audience member think? What would you have thought if you were listening to a speech and the speaker mad...
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Write like you speak
First, think about how you might explain a topic to your friend:
- What words and phrases would you use?
- How would you position your opinion?
- What tidbits or examples would you lean on to get your point across?
Rule #3: Make Friends With People Who Want The Best For You
- “It is only right to see the best in people. The highest virtue is the desire to help.” But not everyone who is failing is a victim, and not everyone at the bottom wishes to rise, although many do, and many manage it
- Before you help someone, you shou...
The Basics Of Conversation
Control the flow of conversation and make others feel comfortable:
- Think of things you would and wouldn’t like to talk about and use that as an initial guide.
- Be nice, as opposed to trying to sound brilliant.
- Tell stories.
- Ask questions.
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