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How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
Appreciation and flattery
- Flattery is selfish and insincere. It’s cheap praise. You tell the other person precisely what he thinks about himself.
- Appreciation is unselfish and sincere. It happens when we stop thinking about ourselves and begin to think of the other person’s good points.
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Dale Carnegie
“When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.”
Handling People
- Don’t criticize, condemn or complain. People learn faster and retain knowledge more effectively when rewarded for good behavior than punished for bad behavior.
- Give honest and sincere appreciation. The only way to get a person to do anything is by giving them what they want.
- Arouse in the other person an eager want. The only way to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.
Henry Ford
“If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”
Make People Like You
- Become interested in other people. We are interested in others when they are interested in us.
- Smile. A smile says, "I like you."
- Always remember people's names.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
- Make the other person feel important, in an honest way.
Memorize names
- If you don’t hear the name distinctly, ask the person to repeat it
- For unusual names, ask for the spelling
- Repeat the name several times during the conversation
- Associate the name with the person’s features, expression, and general appearance
- Write it down later so you can visualize the name as well
Win People to Your Way of Thinking
- Avoid arguments.
- Show respect for the other person’s opinions.
- If you are wrong, admit it quickly.
- To win someone to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend.
- Let the other people talk themselves out and try to see things from the other person’s point of view.
- Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
- Dramatize your ideas. The truth has to be made vivid, interesting, dramatic.
SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
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Key Ideas
Techniques in Handling People
6 ways to make people like you
- Become sincerely interested in other people.
- Smile.
- Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
- Make the other person feel important.
Win people to your way of thinking
- The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Never say, “You’re wrong.” Respect the other person’s opinions.
- If you are wrong, admit it.
- Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
- Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
- Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
- Try to see things from the other person’s point of view.
- Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
- Appeal to the nobler motives.
- Dramatize your ideas.
- Throw down a challenge.
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Key Ideas
Dale Carnegie’s advice to make people like you
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Smile.
- Remember names.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the ot...
Actively showing interest in other people
When people speak, the best responses are both active and constructive: engaged, enthusiastic, curious and has supportive nonverbal action. Ask questions. Be excited. Ask for details. Smile. Touch. Laugh.
It's a powerful technique - it makes you more liked and people more receptive to your requests.
Smiling does make you more attractive
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Ontology
This is a branch of philosophy that deals with the questions of being and identity.
Ontological psychologists and social scientists start with examining our self in social...
Self-help vs Social science
Self-help literature, like information, exists as raw, uncurated, unexamined information, while social science is like knowledge, beginning with the aggregated data and the processes of thinking, developed and updated over time.
Myopic points of view
Many best seller self-help books like the much-celebrated How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie, written way back in 1936 provide a personal view of influencing and persuading others, which has later been proved to be ineffective.
This is because many of these books are detached from various social and economical facts, offering a myopic view of the world.
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