How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
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“When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.”
DALE CARNEGIE
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Handling People
- Don’t criticize, condemn or complain. People learn faster and retain knowledge more effectively when rewarded for good behavior than punished for bad behavior.
- Give honest and sincere appreciation. The only way to get a person to do anything is by giving them what they want.
- Arouse in the other person an eager want. The only way to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.
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Appreciation and flattery
- Flattery is selfish and insincere. It’s cheap praise. You tell the other person precisely what he thinks about himself.
- Appreciation is unselfish and sincere. It happens when we stop thinking about ourselves and begin to think of the other person’s good points.
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“If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”
HENRY FORD
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Make People Like You
- Become interested in other people. We are interested in others when they are interested in us.
- Smile. A smile says, "I like you."
- Always remember people's names.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
- Make the other person feel important, in an honest way.
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Memorize names
- If you don’t hear the name distinctly, ask the person to repeat it
- For unusual names, ask for the spelling
- Repeat the name several times during the conversation
- Associate the name with the person’s features, expression, and general appearance
- Write it down later so you can visualize the name as well
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Win People to Your Way of Thinking
- Avoid arguments.
- Show respect for the other person’s opinions.
- If you are wrong, admit it quickly.
- To win someone to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend.
- Let the other people talk themselves out and try to see things from the other person’s point of view.
- Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
- Dramatize your ideas. The truth has to be made vivid, interesting, dramatic.
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