Tying happiness to outcomes

It is not good to tie your happiness to outcomes since that can affect your happiness.

Overcoming some obstacles might pose more obstacles, while other events that we thought would be bad for us might make us grow and learn.

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@aarnaa

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Self Improvement

MORE IDEAS FROM THE ARTICLE

  • Having meaningful social relationships
  • Being very good at something you do
  • Having the freedom to make life decisions independently.

Three things that don't necessarily contribute to your happiness:

  • Being better educated
  • Being richer
  • Being more accomplished

We know what will make us happy, but we don't know how to measure it. We measure our success by using social comparisons, like a salary, or with awards.

Because people tend to use vague criteria, they are never satisfied when they reach it and always want more. This leads to an unsustainable source of happiness.

If you do what you enjoy and are naturally good at, and if you focus on it long enough, you will probably advance toward mastery anyway, and fame and money will be a byproduct.

We view the world in one of two ways:

  • Scarcity-minded approach: My win will make someone else lose. The scarcity mindset plays an important role when we have to fight for our survival.
  • Abundance-oriented approach: There is room for everybody to grow. Doing something meaningful, instead of focussing on a goal, contributes to a happier life overall.

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RELATED IDEAS

10 Behaviors for Happiness
  1. Let go of the need for specific outcomes
  2. Define your own success and happiness
  3. Fully commit to the things that make you happy
  4. Be grateful for what you already have
  5. Say “I love you” more
  6. Have hobbies directed toward your dreams
  7. Don’t postpone what you can do now
  8. Do something every day that terrifies you
  9. Put “the Important” before “the Urgent”
  10. Forgo the good to pursue the best.

1

IDEA

Frugality

Frugality means resisting the temptation to spend more than you earn.

Two possibilities With Achievements

1: If we set goals and achieve them.

  • This sounds great but in reality feeling of success, achievement or fulfilment is very short lived
  • We have to set the next bigger goal because we may not feel the way that we thought we would when we ‘arrive’.
  • This is not healthy or sensible


2: If we set goals and fail.

  • It will lead to pain, guilt and unhealthy self talk and beliefs
  • Often it occurs due to the reasons that we actually couldn’t even control.
  • We give our own well being over the the fate of a business or financial outcome.
  • This too is not healthy nor is it sensible.

it’s a never ending cycle that will never change unless we take deliberate action.

  • Profit targets, cars, homes, watches, net worth are all strong examples of this and very few of us are ever satisfied for very long in any of these areas.

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