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Hi or Hey: Which Words Matter When You Talk [Fascinating!]

Facial expression in speech

Facial expression in speech

Smiling is one of the most powerful elements when thinking about speech.

The smiley face is rated with the highest positive emotional content. The painting of the Mona Lisa with her contented smiled is one such example.  

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Hi or Hey: Which Words Matter When You Talk [Fascinating!]

Hi or Hey: Which Words Matter When You Talk [Fascinating!]

https://buffer.com/resources/which-words-matter-the-most-when-we-talk-the-psychology-of-language

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Key Ideas

Our brain while listening to words

Our brain uses two separate areas to identify the mood and the real meaning of the words. Words are passed to the left temporal lobe of the brain for processing, and intonation is channelled to the right side of the brain, a region more stimulated by music.

Words only count 7% Myth

The myth purports that we use 55% body language, 38% tone of voice and 7% actual words.

The research of Professor Mehrabian had nothing to do with speech, but to guess emotion based on the recordings of a single word. 

Actual words "must dominate by a wide margin", argues famous author Philip Yaffe.

Facial expression in speech

Smiling is one of the most powerful elements when thinking about speech.

The smiley face is rated with the highest positive emotional content. The painting of the Mona Lisa with her contented smiled is one such example.  

Brevity in speech

The human brain can only hold on to four things at a time. It means that if you have a point to argue and continue for a long time, the person will remember very little of it.

Instead, speak briefly, maybe 30 seconds worth, because that is all people can take in.

Avoid adverbs in speech and writing

Using too many adverbs - words to describe actions and objects - can make the reader lose interest.

A person that “meanders” it is more accurate than “walking slowly.”

Using too many unnecessary words can even make a person lose trust. On a high level, using fewer words builds trust.

How to get great responses

In order to have more meaningful conversations, ask questions that start with “who,” “what,” “where,” “when,” “how,” or “why”. 
Good: “What would you do?”
Bad: "Do you think I  should do X?"

Words like “would,” “should,” “is,” “are,” and “do you think,” must be avoided as they can decrease how people respond to you.

Remove "is" from your language

The 'to be' verbs like "she is, I am, they are" creates mental anguish because it reduces us to a single concept. X = Y  
"She is depressed"  or “I am a failure”.  
Accepting this language limits us to believe we are nothing more or less than the idea we identified ourselves with.

Change statements to produce different outcomes.
"She looks depressed" or, "I think I've failed." 

The 5 Most persuasive words

  1. You - or your name. A person's name is the most important sound in any language.
  2. Free. All people naturally like to go for the free stuff.
  3. Because. Giving a reason, even a weak reason, is more persuasive than giving no reason.
  4. Instantly or even fast. Words like these switch on our mid-brain activity that makes us jump at it.
  5. New

Arguments: Use a 3-to-1 ratio 

Negative arguments have a harmful effect on our brain. 

When you discuss any particular issue, make three positive comments for every negative statement.  It will create opportunity for a more constructive dialogue.

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Anthropologist Bronisław Malinowski noted in 1923 that a great deal of talk "does not serve any purpose of communicating ideas" but "to establish bonds of personal union." He also said that small talk was merely a way to fill the silence.

He was wrong. Small talk is not just for those seeking companionship. It enacts and reinforces social roles in a whole range of social, commercial, and professional settings. 

Speech operates on two levels
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Getting yourself motivated to do the work is like swimming with the current. You'll make use of power that will energize and support you. You'll get to your destination in a completely different mood and perspective.

Generate the power of Motivation

The most likely reason you feel unmotivated is that you are in a lousy state of mind. It can be caused by various things, like:

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Words and emotions

The words we attach to our experience become our experience. 

Words have a biochemical effect on the body. For example, if you use a word like “devastated,” you’re going to produce a very different biochemical effect than if you say, “I’m a bit disappointed.

Start with a small shift

Replace just one word that will transform the way you experience something “negative.” This is how you create a choice instead of a habitual reaction.

These small changes in your vocabulary give you the power to change your experiences in life by lowering the intensity of negative emotions to the point where they no longer control you.

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The damage of aphasia tends to be in two brain areas, the Broca's area in the posterior left prefrontal cortex, and Wernicke's area, the posterior left temporal cortex.

  • In Brocha's aphasia, people have problems with fluency, mixing the order of the words, and ignoring grammar.
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The relationship between language and the self

One of the effects of aphasia is losing the ability to talk with yourself. The inner monologue disappears, leaving you unable to process your own thoughts.

The ability to speak with oneself is vital for forming emotions, processing memories, and predicting the future. Internal silence can be described as a total loss of identity.

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  • don't lie, minimize the situation or make jokes regarding the crisis.
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  • don’t let your fears of liability trump your humanity.
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The Problem With Some Speed Reading Software

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Looking Friendly
  • Smile. It is even more important than you think. It's a great way to create trust. We judge people to be more pleasant when we are smiling.
  • Expand. Body movements th...
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The best body language for influence depends on your goal. Make sure your body language matches your words to make you more effective.

  • If you want to increase the attractiveness of an offer, think sales-y. Use animated movements. Lean forward. Move and speak quickly.
  • If you want to reduce resistance to what you're saying, think calm and authoritative. Specific gestures. Lean back. Move and speak slowly. 
Looking Like A Leader

It is important to balance the appearance of authority and warmth.

  • You show authority and power by your upright posture, your command of physical space, purposeful stride, a firm handshake, and palm-down gestures.
  • You communicate warmth nonverbally with open body postures, palm-up hand gestures, full-frontal body orientation, positive eye contact, synchronized movements, nods, head tilts, and smiles.

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