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Hi or Hey: Which Words Matter When You Talk [Fascinating!]

Remove "is" from your language

The 'to be' verbs like "she is, I am, they are" creates mental anguish because it reduces us to a single concept. X = Y  
"She is depressed"  or “I am a failure”.  
Accepting this language limits us to believe we are nothing more or less than the idea we identified ourselves with.

Change statements to produce different outcomes.
"She looks depressed" or, "I think I've failed." 

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Hi or Hey: Which Words Matter When You Talk [Fascinating!]

Hi or Hey: Which Words Matter When You Talk [Fascinating!]

https://buffer.com/resources/which-words-matter-the-most-when-we-talk-the-psychology-of-language

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Key Ideas

Our brain while listening to words

Our brain uses two separate areas to identify the mood and the real meaning of the words. Words are passed to the left temporal lobe of the brain for processing, and intonation is channelled to the right side of the brain, a region more stimulated by music.

Words only count 7% Myth

The myth purports that we use 55% body language, 38% tone of voice and 7% actual words.

The research of Professor Mehrabian had nothing to do with speech, but to guess emotion based on the recordings of a single word. 

Actual words "must dominate by a wide margin", argues famous author Philip Yaffe.

Facial expression in speech

Smiling is one of the most powerful elements when thinking about speech.

The smiley face is rated with the highest positive emotional content. The painting of the Mona Lisa with her contented smiled is one such example.  

Brevity in speech

The human brain can only hold on to four things at a time. It means that if you have a point to argue and continue for a long time, the person will remember very little of it.

Instead, speak briefly, maybe 30 seconds worth, because that is all people can take in.

Avoid adverbs in speech and writing

Using too many adverbs - words to describe actions and objects - can make the reader lose interest.

A person that “meanders” it is more accurate than “walking slowly.”

Using too many unnecessary words can even make a person lose trust. On a high level, using fewer words builds trust.

How to get great responses

In order to have more meaningful conversations, ask questions that start with “who,” “what,” “where,” “when,” “how,” or “why”. 
Good: “What would you do?”
Bad: "Do you think I  should do X?"

Words like “would,” “should,” “is,” “are,” and “do you think,” must be avoided as they can decrease how people respond to you.

Remove "is" from your language

The 'to be' verbs like "she is, I am, they are" creates mental anguish because it reduces us to a single concept. X = Y  
"She is depressed"  or “I am a failure”.  
Accepting this language limits us to believe we are nothing more or less than the idea we identified ourselves with.

Change statements to produce different outcomes.
"She looks depressed" or, "I think I've failed." 

The 5 Most persuasive words

  1. You - or your name. A person's name is the most important sound in any language.
  2. Free. All people naturally like to go for the free stuff.
  3. Because. Giving a reason, even a weak reason, is more persuasive than giving no reason.
  4. Instantly or even fast. Words like these switch on our mid-brain activity that makes us jump at it.
  5. New

Arguments: Use a 3-to-1 ratio 

Negative arguments have a harmful effect on our brain. 

When you discuss any particular issue, make three positive comments for every negative statement.  It will create opportunity for a more constructive dialogue.

EXPLORE MORE AROUND THESE TOPICS:

SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

How you speak to yourself

It directly influences how you experience things in life.

Our words play an important part in shaping our existence, so if your internal self-talk is negative, your external exper...

Words and emotions

The words we attach to our experience become our experience. 

Words have a biochemical effect on the body. For example, if you use a word like “devastated,” you’re going to produce a very different biochemical effect than if you say, “I’m a bit disappointed.

Start with a small shift

Replace just one word that will transform the way you experience something “negative.” This is how you create a choice instead of a habitual reaction.

These small changes in your vocabulary give you the power to change your experiences in life by lowering the intensity of negative emotions to the point where they no longer control you.

Small talk

Not everyone enjoys small talk. It is not that they are not comfortable talking, but one-on-one, small talk remains an issue.

Small talk precedes big talk in the normal course of human af...

Small talk has meaning

Anthropologist Bronisław Malinowski noted in 1923 that a great deal of talk "does not serve any purpose of communicating ideas" but "to establish bonds of personal union." He also said that small talk was merely a way to fill the silence.

He was wrong. Small talk is not just for those seeking companionship. It enacts and reinforces social roles in a whole range of social, commercial, and professional settings. 

Speech operates on two levels
  • Speech communicates information or ideas. It is the semantic content of speech.
  • On another level, talking is a social behavior. Every speech does something. It reassures, acknowledges, nurtures, enjoins, rejects, dominates, encourages, or just fill an awkward silence.

3 more ideas

Effective writing

Effective writing is not about grammar, punctuation, and spelling. It is about hitting your mark.

  • Effective writing is clear and has only one interpretation.
  • Effecti...
Writing as a tool

Writing is a way of communicating. When you use clear, credible and persuasive language, you don't have to worry about a beautiful sentence or fancy words.

  • If you are not clear from the start, you will end up wasting a lot of time clarifying your message. Aim to get it right from the start.
  • You can write the wrong thing that will land you up in an argument. If you didn't mean it that way, don't write it that way. Write what you mean.
  • Ineffective writing can cause lost opportunities.