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Dating apps are everywhere. Relationship apps are for what comes next.
The shift in optimizing personal lives
People have started to approach their personal lives like a business.
Marriage spreadsheets can collect and analyze data on everything that might affect the quality of life - for instance, household chores, alone time or hours slept.Applications can act as a manager for children's time, or organize to-do lists and goals.
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Key Ideas
Relationship app
A relationship app helps people to communicate.
- It can remind people to regularly connect during the day.
- It can be helpful to spark meaningful conversations for people who have trouble expressing themselves in relationships.
How relationship apps work
A relationship app does little things like sending you reminders to text your partner an expression of gratitude at a certain time of day. It can also guide you through how to start a conversation about, for instance, infidelity.
A relationship app is like a third, neutral party: It shows where a couple's needs and priorities differ. One app combines audio tracks and articles about psychology and marriage health, then translates them into exercises.
The shift in optimizing personal lives
People have started to approach their personal lives like a business.
Marriage spreadsheets can collect and analyze data on everything that might affect the quality of life - for instance, household chores, alone time or hours slept.Applications can act as a manager for children's time, or organize to-do lists and goals.
Concerns of relationship apps
- Relationship Apps can collect sensitive information when personal issues are catalogued in the cloud.
- Should we allocate even more time on phones, when spending too much time online already reveals a negative impact on relationships?
- Apps that are meant to interfere in our relationship building is still new. We cannot yet realize what the consequences will be.
- An app can only do so much to unearth issues, but cannot force people to change their behaviour.
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Key Ideas
Unresolved conflicts
The idea that couples must communicate and resolve all of their problems is a myth. The truth is, trying to resolve a conflict can sometimes create more problems than it fixes.
Being honest
The last person you should ever have to censor yourself with is the person you love.
It’s important to make something more important in your relationship than merely making each other feel good all of the time. The feel-good stuff happens when you get the other stuff right.
Being willing to end it
Romantic sacrifice is idealized in our culture.
Sometimes the only thing that can make a relationship successful is ending it at the appropriate time, before it becomes too damaging. And the willingness to do that allows us to establish the necessary boundaries to help ourselves and our partner grow together.
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Key Ideas
The Importance Of Commitment Signs
Correctly “reading” the signs of commitment in a potential long-term partner is crucial. When you don’t get solid information about commitment as things progress, you can miss important s...
1. What Does And What Doesn’t Signal Commitment.
- Wanting to have sex with someone.
- Wanting to have a baby with no other evidence of commitment like, say, marriage.
- Cohabitation.
- Being married.
2. Circumstances And Commitment.
For behavior to mean something about commitment, it must be behavior that the person has control over performing. If one's options are limited by the context their intentions cannot be read.
In the context of dating and mating, option constraints on you or your partner, limits the information contained in the choices you make. That means that some may routinely misinterpret the behavior of their partners as a signal of commitment when it isn’t.
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Key Ideas
Self-understanding
To make a marriage work, you have to be the right person.
Rather than looking for the right partner, become aware of your blind spots, growing edges and vulnerabilities. Take r...
You can’t avoid marital conflict
Blaming, oversimplifying, and seeing oneself as a victim are all common traits of unhappy couples and failed marriages.
Conflicts should be approached by looking together at the problem.
A good marriage takes skill
Most of us don’t have adequate communication skills going into marriage. It is important to build this skill.
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