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How to Change Your Life

Focus On Habits, Not Goals

It's ok to have goals, but obsessing over them is often counterproductive because, in reality, achieving a goal isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be.

Create a system of healthy habits for the most important parts of your life.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

How to Change Your Life

How to Change Your Life

https://markmanson.net/how-to-change-your-life

markmanson.net

7

Key Ideas

Do Something

The simplest way to get out of a stuck mindset is to do something, anything.

Action is the biggest Motivation. Stop procrastinating and start engaging with the world.

Pay the Costs

Recognize that everything you do has a cost decide if you're willing to pay it. Freebies and shortcuts do not work in the long run.

Ask yourself not what you want, but what you're willing to suffer for. 

No One Really Cares

Few people actually care about you. Because you’re not as special as you think and also, most people are too concerned with themselves.

Use this piece of knowledge to liberate yourself and do what you want.

Focus On Habits, Not Goals

It's ok to have goals, but obsessing over them is often counterproductive because, in reality, achieving a goal isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be.

Create a system of healthy habits for the most important parts of your life.

Figure Out Who You Are

Self-awareness is extremely beneficial to start to change your life.

There's no way to change your life in a meaningful way if you don't know what you want to change about yourself in the first place.

Focus On Fewer Things

To live a more meaningful life, focus on fewer things, and get good at them, as we have a finite number of days.

Stop Trying so Hard

Trying too hard to make friends or being cool has the opposite, repelling effect.
Just be grateful for what you have, and enjoy simple things.

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Reframing your mindset

Stop reacting to life and start responding to it.

If you want to really change, you need to start reframing your mindset. You’re not in control of everything that happens to you, but y...

Henry David Thoreau
Henry David Thoreau

“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”

What mindset is

A mindset is a set of assumptions, methods, or notations that is so established that it creates a powerful incentive within you to continue to adopt or accept prior behaviours, choices, or tools.

It’s so powerful that it affects every decision-making process. It predetermines your responses and interpretations of situations.

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Motivation affects your work
Motivation affects your work

No matter how passionate you are about your work, you will run into aspects of your career that you are not fond of.

Our overall experience is dictated by our mindset and approach we ta...

Consider Your Current Position

When we become used to the daily grind, we end up losing ourselves along the way. It is only when we approach work with the mindset of providing value that we gain a sense of achievement.

Ask yourself why you have this job. Does it involve work you are passionate about? Is there something you particularly enjoy about this work?

Map Out Your Future

Our future may be more exciting than our current situation. You can leverage that to your advantage by using it as motivation to work harder.

Use each job you hold as a stepping stone towards your goal. Your current position serves a purpose, whether it is to build your resume, teach you skills, or help you save money to look for a new job.

To keep you highly motivated, set a deadline, and break your goals down into smaller, achievable tasks.

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Keep the Same Schedule

To give your day structure, keep the same routine as when you went into an office. Get up at the same time and make a to-do list. Check in with the same person every morning.

Your s...

Set Boundaries

Pick a place for your office away from distraction.
Boundaries also apply to other people who may be sharing the same space. Children can work alongside you as if they were coming to the office.

Schedule Breaks

You won't have the same cues as you do from your workplace to remind you to get up or get lunch. When you lose the pace of your day, everything can start to blend together.

Treat your exercise, meals and stretch breaks as you would any other meeting. Put it on your calendar, at least to start.

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There is no such a thing as a "gym person"

There are just people who go to the gym.

Similarly, there’s no such thing as a “productive person.” There are just people who do productive things fairly often.

Keep your “self” out of your decisions

Think of your life as a long sequence of actions and decisions.

Just ask yourself, “Is this a good thing to do?” If the answer is Yes, go do it.

There are no such things as secrets when it comes to personal success
Every piece of new advice you hear has been said before. The real secret lies in how well you execute the advice.  🤔

Doing something is better than saying you’re going to do something.

Doing something is better than saying you’re going to do something. No one can argue with that.  🏅
Practical Tips To Make Your Resolutions Stick Even Better ⚓️
  1. Keep It Small — It’s about thinking big and acting small. You’ll achieve those big goals in time.

  2. Measure Your Progress — If you don’t measure your progress, it’s safe to say that you are not making any. 

  3. Be Accountable To Yourself — One of the most important skills you can learn in life is to be self-reliant. 

Habits and success

Habits change your life, but they don't guarantee success.

Waking up early, working hard, and taking cold showers do not cause success. They contribute to it, but they may be insuffici...

Decide what habits are worth it

It's up to you to define what a good habit is. This critical to forming new habits. 

To find your why, your reason to change, just ask yourself this: “Will habit x improve the quality of my life?”  Answer that. And then, adopt habits that bring you closer to the things you want in life.

Focus on one habit at a time

We overestimate ourselves most of the time. And that's one of the reasons we try to do so many things at the same time, in a short period.

We can achieve a lot over a long period. So focus on one thing at a time. Stack one habit on top of the other, one by one.

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“Change” means changing your identity
“Change” means changing your identity

It’s one thing to say, “I want to start going to the gym weekly.” It’s another to say, “It’s time to change and become the type of person who goes to the gym weekly.”

The...

We control our actions, but the consequences that flow from those actions are controlled by principles.” -  Dr. Stephen R. Covey

The basic form immediate behavioral change:
Understanding and feeling the consequences of our behavior. Our actions don’t offer imediate feedback, so principles are important in recognizing the consequences of certain things without waiting.
Normalcy bias:

Underestimating the possibility of disasters occurring. People incorrectly assume things will be as they have always been. Thus, they don’t have an urgency to prepare for the worst. The solution:  practical or defensive pesimism.

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Gradual increase + persistence = new habits

Small habits might not seem life-changing at first, but you will see huge progress compounding over time.

That’s exactly how you measure your goals, by looking backward. Goal progress...

How to Measure Your Goals
  • Whether you keep up with your goals in an app, on your computer or on a notepad, keep up with them.
  • Measure your progress by where you are compared to where you were.
  • When you look back, check for any patterns in your actions. There are certain things that allow us to complete more goals, while other things end up making us less productive. 
  • Do a weekly recap
    • Get an overview of everything that happened in the week. 
    • Identify positives. Look at the things that you wanted to accomplish and did. 
    • Identify negatives. Look at the things that you wanted to accomplish and didn’t. 
    • Take notes and summarize your entire week, both positive and negative. 
    • Take what you have learned from your previous week and plan your next week accordingly
    Default behaviors

    They are actions we make without thinking (habits, routines, compulsions). They control more than 40% of our daily actions.

    So if we want to change our lives and be more productive, we...

    Inbox always open

    This behavior keeps you from dedicating your time to meaningful work. Replying to email may feel productive, but the truth is emails are rarely the most important thing on your to-do list.

    So instead of keeping your inbox open all day, change your default behavior to working on emails in batches.

    Immediately responding to messages

    Real-time communication sets the expectation that you’re always available. And for many of us, our default behaviors support just that.

    In order to change this behavior, you need to set expectations on response time. Mute specific channels, get rid of pop-ups, turn off mobile notifications, etc.

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