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This Is The Most Powerful Way To Make Your Life Fantastic - Barking Up The Wrong Tree
Values, Not Lifehacks
Tech is only a tool. How you use it can make it good or not so good.
We don't need a lifehack to control our phone. We need values to ensure that technology serves us, and not the other way around.
Find out what you value in life. Then ask how technology supports those values. Set rules that work for them. If you don't, tech will fill that void by default.
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Core Factors In A Happy Life
Research shows 70% of your happiness comes from quality relationships with your family, friends, co-workers, and neighbors.
Yet, the biggest factor that interferes with your relationships is your phone. The internet. Social media.
Reverse FOMO
FOMO is the fear of missing out, especially the latest internet hysteria. But FOMO is not the real problem - Reverse FOMO is. By always being online, you are missing out on real life. An overwhelming online presence is replacing all the things that really make a good life.
Values, Not Lifehacks
Tech is only a tool. How you use it can make it good or not so good.
We don't need a lifehack to control our phone. We need values to ensure that technology serves us, and not the other way around.
Find out what you value in life. Then ask how technology supports those values. Set rules that work for them. If you don't, tech will fill that void by default.
Try A Long Walk Without A Phone
Many of us are scared of being alone with our own thoughts. Our phones are our constant companion to eliminate all moments of solitude.
But self-reflection helps us to gain insight into our values, life, and how we want to live. So, go out and take a long walk to think, without the technology that can interrupt you.
When You're Offline
Historically, when people had more leisure time, they used to engage in quality activities or community engagements like hobbies, or non-professional intellectual pursuits like poetry and novels.
What hobby might bring you more joy or pride? When you know the answer, it will be much easier to curb your tech use.
Make Awesome Plans
Becoming a digital minimalist makes you more invested in real-world conversations. Friendships are deeper than a social media comment on a baby picture.
Try your best not to socialize digitally anymore. Only use texting for logistics to arrange a get together where you do activities together. Play Monopoly or conquer a neighboring village.
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The Impostor Syndrome
It is the feeling that you are not worthy of your designation, title, position or success.
Your accomplishments may be due to luck or effort, but you feel you lack the talent or skill ...
The Reality of Impostor Syndrome
- The impostor syndrome is like a nagging feeling that our success might be due to luck, good timing, or even a computer error.
- It makes us think we have done nothing, and that we secretly are a fraud for taking undue credit.
- The person suffering from an impostor syndrome lives in fear that soon the 'secret' about his true nature will be uncovered.
Self-Efficacy is the Answer
The antidote to the impostor syndrome is self-efficacy, which is about learning one's own value.
Self-efficacy is described as a perceived ability to succeed at a particular task. It means having rock-solid confidence, a supercharged belief in your ability.
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Feelings are summary judgments
Most of the time we don’t second guess them, and even if we do, they often end up overwhelming us.
Negative feelings are very powerful and harder to question: we identify with them effo...
Misunderstanding resilience
Resilience is most times associated with being tough. But that’s not gonna get you very far with feelings. Don't try to be invulnerable. Aim for flexibility instead.
You cannot avoid or resist all pain in life. But you can learn to live with your discomfort better.
"Solving" emotions
We have trouble dealing with feelings because the usual problem-solving rules don't really apply to them.
When faced with a problem, we can always avoid it or deny it. But attempting to resist negative feelings won’t work. Any attempt at suppression only amplifies them. We must go from avoidance to acceptance.
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Key Ideas
The importance of friends
Having a weak circle of friends carries the same risk as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
Researchers suggest that the core factors in a happy life are the number of friends, the closeness of f...
Reconnect with old friends
You have probably met a large number of friends through just a handful of people. Those are your superconnectors. Rekindle those friendships and ask them if there is anyone you should meet.
Connecting to people
Don’t be interesting. Be interested.
- Listen to people and ask them to tell you more.
- When they mention something you have in common, point it out.
- Be enthusiastic and encouraging.
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