Your attachment style can change over time to a more secure style or an insecure style if they're not careful.
An extreme negative event, such as divorce, death of a dear one, a serious accident, etc. can cause a secure attachment type to move into a more insecure attachment type.
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Attachment theory is an area of psychology that describes the nature of emotional attachment between people, starting with your parents. The quality of how well you were cared for will then influence the nature of your relationships later in life.
There are four attachment strategies: secure, anxious, avoidant, and anxious-avoidant.
50% of the population is secure attachment types.
Our attachment styles are influenced by how we related to our parents as infants and set the pattern for how we perceive relationships as we mature.
As we get older, we continue to build on this pattern when we form relationships with our peers and other people.
Different attachment types tend to configure themselves into relationships in predictable ways.
Anxious types can work on developing themselves, creating healthy boundaries and fostering a healthy self-image.
Avoidant types can work on opening themselves up to others and share more about themselves.
Whatever your specific relationship problems, it’s important to know that your brain remains capable of change throughout life.
By identifying your attachment style, you can learn to challenge your insecurities, develop a more securely attached way of relating to others, and build stronger, healthier, and more fulfilling relationships.
You avoid anything that leads to a bigger commitment. You're always wondering: "if it goes wrong, how can I extricate myself easily from this relationship?"
Because commitment reduces your ability to leave a relationship without financial or emotional consequences, you tend to avoid it.
To us, being loved in a relationship is perhaps the highest ideal. It gives our lives meaning and purpose. Being loved validates our sense of self-esteem and soothes our fears of loneliness.
Our brains are also wired to fall in love. Dopamine provides a natural high and ecstatic feeling that can be as addictive as cocaine.