Vulnerability is not about winning or losing. It's about showing up and being seen.
But if you're going to show up, create things and be seen, you are guaranteed that you will be criticised. That is the only certainty you have.
However, only take feedback from those who are also in the arena and willing to put themselves on the line.

Being vulnerable and the critics

Just before we show up to present our creative work, we are often scared, we have self-doubt, anxiety, and uncertainty. What most people do when they walk into the arena and know these emotions will meet them is they armour up. They put on all the armour to protect themselves. The problem with armouring up against vulnerability is that you shut yourself off from everything you do and love.

The arena

If you're going to spend your life in the arena, showing up, there are a few things you need:<ul><li>Clarity on your values: If courage is a value, you will keep on showing up. Whether you are successful or not is irrelevant.</li><li>Have at least one person in your life whos willing to pick you up and dust you off when you fail.</li></ul> The people who have the most courage are willing to show up and be vulnerable. They know who their critics are, reserve seats for them and hear them but do not buy their message.

How to show up as a creative

No one often talks about the perspiration that comes from the fear of presenting an idea or talking about something we care about. One thing that always happens when a creative is sharing their idea is that they will be criticised. The criticism may not relate to their work but be personal, causing the creative to withdraw from that space.

There is nothing more vulnerable than creating

When you put an idea or piece of art or design forward, you are normally your biggest critic. We have an ideal; of what we're supposed to be, and many of us end up orphaning the parts of ourselves that don't fit that ideal. When we orphan the parts of us that don't fit the ideal, we are only left with the usual parts that look like everyone else: where we were born, who our family is. However, when we don't orphan the parts, we can be the person who believes in what we're doing. We can be vulnerable to say yes, this feels scary and put ourselves out there anyway.

You are your biggest critic

Being vulnerable is a part of fear and self-doubt and grief and uncertainty and shame. But it is also the birthplace of love, joy, empathy creativity and innovation.
Without vulnerability, you cannot create. As a creative, you're asked to really put yourself out there so that people can see what you're doing and what you're made of. You'll be loved by some and criticised by others. The best way to move forward is not to ensure the critics are not in the arena. It is to know that they will be there and to know exactly what they're going to say to you.

The two sides of being vulnerable

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, ... who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

When you share your work, you will always find four critics:<ol><li>Shame: That gremlin that whispers you're not enough or if you're feeling confident,  the gremlin that tells you, "Who do you think you are?"</li><li>Scarcity: What am I doing that's original? What is special in what I contribute?</li><li>Comparison.</li><li>Your teacher, parent, critical co-worker. "I don't worry about what the critics think": When we stop caring what people think, we lose our capacity for connection. But when we are defined by what people think, we lose our capacity to be vulnerable.</li></ol>

The four types of critics

How to be vulnerable: Learn to bring more healthy vulnerability to your life.

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Books

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Health

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Communication

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Personal Development

Understand yourself and those around you.

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Psychology

Daring To Be Vulnerable

Being vulnerable: There is nothing more frightening than the moment we expose our ideas to the world.

About this presentation There is nothing more frightening than the moment we expose our ideas to the world. Author and vulnerability researcher Brené Brown shows us how to deal with the critics and our own self-doubt by refusing to "armor up" and shut ourselves off. "Not caring what people think," she says, "is its own kind of hustle." Instead we must "reserve a seat" for the critics and our own self-doubt. "Tell them, I see you, I hear you, but I'm going to do this anyway." Watch more videos at http://www.99u.com/videos 2:14 "Design is a function of connection. Nothing is more then vulnerable then creativity. What is art if it is not love?" 3:11 Perspiration from fear 6:48 Theodore Roosevelt quote/passage that changed my life: "It's not the critic who counts..." 7:39 Everything i know about vulnerability: it is not about winning or losing, it's about showing up and being seen 7:53 "This is who I want to be I want to create. I want to make thing that didn't exist before touched them." 8:14 One guarantee: you will get you ass kicked 8:39 "If you're not in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I'm no interested in your opinion" 9:41 This is where we sweat 10:17 Fear, self doubt, comparison, anxiety 11:06 When you armor up, you shut yourself off from everything that you do an love 11:40 Without vulnerability you cannot create 12:41 Know your critics are there, know what they're going to say 12:57 Shame, scarcity and comparison 15:20 "When we stop caring what people thing we lose our capacity for connection. When we become defined by what people thing we lose our capacity to be vulnerable." 16:38 If you're going to spend your life in the ring/showing up, you're going to need: 1) Clarity of values 17:18 2) Have person in your life thats going to pick you up 18:14 "People who have the most courage and vulnerability are the ones who are very clear about who the critics are and reserve seats for them." 19:32 One of these seats needs to be reserved for you About Brené Brown Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent the past twelve years studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame. Her groundbreaking research has been featured on PBS, NPR, CNN, The Washington Post, and The New York Times. Brené is the author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the way we Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (Gotham, 2012). In Daring Greatly Brené dispels the cultural myth that vulnerability is weakness and argues that it is, in truth, our most accurate measure of courage. Fast Company Magazine recently named Daring Greatly one of the best business books of 2012. Brené's 2010 TEDx Houston talk, The Power of Vulnerability, is one of the top ten most viewed TED talks on TED.com, with over 6 million viewers. Brené is also the author of The Gifts of Imperfection (2010), I Thought It Was Just Me (2007), and Connections (2009). She lives in Houston with her husband, Steve, and their two children, Ellen and Charlie. About 99U The 99U delivers the action-oriented education that you didn't get in school, highlighting real-world best practices for making ideas happen.

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Creativity

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Videos

About this presentation

There is nothing more frightening than the moment we expose our ideas to the world. Author and vulnerability researcher Brené Brown shows us how to deal with the critics and our own self-doubt by refusing to "armor up" and shut ourselves off. "Not caring what people think," she says, "is its own kind of hustle."

Instead we must "reserve a seat" for the critics and our own self-doubt. "Tell them, I see you, I hear you, but I'm going to do this anyway." 

Watch more videos at http://www.99u.com/videos


2:14 "Design is a function of connection. Nothing is more then vulnerable then creativity. What is art if it is not love?"
3:11 Perspiration from fear
6:48 Theodore Roosevelt quote/passage that changed my life: "It's not the critic who counts..."
7:39 Everything i know about vulnerability: it is not about winning or losing, it's about showing up and being seen
7:53 "This is who I want to be I want to create. I want to make thing that didn't exist before touched them."
8:14 One guarantee: you will get you ass kicked 
8:39 "If you're not in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I'm no interested in your opinion"
9:41 This is where we sweat
10:17 Fear, self doubt, comparison, anxiety
11:06 When you armor up, you shut yourself off from everything that you do an love 
11:40 Without vulnerability you cannot create
12:41 Know your critics are there, know what they're going to say
12:57 Shame, scarcity and comparison
15:20 "When we stop caring what people thing we lose our capacity for connection. When we become defined by what people thing we lose our capacity to be vulnerable."
16:38 If you're going to spend your life in the ring/showing up, you're going to need: 1) Clarity of values
17:18 2) Have person in your life thats going to pick you up
18:14 "People who have the most courage and vulnerability are the ones who are very clear about who the critics are and reserve seats for them."
19:32 One of these seats needs to be reserved for you



About Brené Brown

Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent the past twelve years studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame. Her groundbreaking research has been featured on PBS, NPR, CNN, The Washington Post, and The New York Times.

Brené is the author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the way we Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (Gotham, 2012). In Daring Greatly Brené dispels the cultural myth that vulnerability is weakness and argues that it is, in truth, our most accurate measure of courage. Fast Company Magazine recently named Daring Greatly one of the best business books of 2012. Brené's 2010 TEDx Houston talk, The Power of Vulnerability, is one of the top ten most viewed TED talks on TED.com, with over 6 million viewers.

Brené is also the author of The Gifts of Imperfection (2010), I Thought It Was Just Me (2007), and Connections (2009). She lives in Houston with her husband, Steve, and their two children, Ellen and Charlie.


About 99U

The 99U delivers the action-oriented education that you didn't get in school, highlighting real-world best practices for making ideas happen.

Adobe 99U tells the stories of how creative leaders master their crafts and shape their industries. We do this in a variety of ways – daily on 99U.com, quarterly in 99U Magazine, and annually at the 99U Conference in New York City.

Whether you’re a designer, marketer, engineer, educator, artist, or CEO — if you approach your work creatively, 99U’s goal is to help you find the inspiration to build an incredible career.

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