What do you do when you feel an urge... - Deepstash
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What do you do when you feel an urge to rebel or feel angry in response to others telling you what to do?

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Reframing the experience so it is no longer a threat to freedom is one way we can try to avoid psychological reactance. We can try to remember that just because someone suggests something to us or asks us to do something, they are not necessarily trying to control us. Scientists are working on di...

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Imagine You Just Started Something

Imagine that you’ve just started a new diet , and you ask your partner to support you in your efforts by reminding you to cook healthy meals at home instead of eating out and do something active after work instead of watching Netflix. O...

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The negative thoughts and anger that come along with reactance make it worth taking the time to notice when your brain engages in psychological reactance and attempting to reframe those scenarios so they do not feel like threats to freedom. If I can think differently about the question when my hu...

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It's Called Psychological Reactance

You are not alone. In fact, this angry reaction is one of the reasons why our efforts to reach our goals can fall short or even backfire. When people feel that their choices are restricted, or that others are telling them what to do, they sometimes rebel and do the opposite.

Scientists have...

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As I’ve been researching this concept, I’ve become hyper-aware of my own psychological reactance. I’ve noticed that my brain has reactance in response to the smallest threats. For example, when my husband says, “What’s the plan for this evening?” instead of simply responding with “no plans” or wi...

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It Has Two Parts

This strong reaction to a threat to freedom has two parts: feelings and thoughts. When reactance is happening in our minds and bodies, we have negative thoughts, and we often feel anger, hostility, and aggression .

People who str...

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Rebel anger

Rebel anger is the anger of being pushed around, being told what to do, being trapped or confined.

Rebels do what they want to do, in their own way and in their own time, and when other people tell or ask them to do something, they resist. This feeling of resistance can spark a lot ...

Handling Your Emotions

Emotions are not good or bad, they are just emotions. One can validate the emotions and accept them. A good way is to write down on a piece of paper what all you feel and then reflect on the same.

Whatever the urge is when we feel angry, depressed, or sad,...

Apologies and understanding

An apology is not telling others we feel sorry they are angry it is telling them we understand why they are angry with us, regret making them feel that way, and wanting to take their anger away. 

An effective apology is showing the person we understand why they are hurting.

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