Research has found that workers are happier and satisfied with their work when they feel they can be themselves. Conversely, when people must hide their true identity at work, they may have lower job satisfaction and be more likely to leave their employer. While people need to be themselves at work, it's also wise to consider how much you share. People don't need to know everything about you. You can feel respected and appreciated without sharing your deepest secrets.

Being yourself without oversharing

Relationships are built over time. Research shows that a meaningful depth of relationships occurs after about 60 hours invested together. When your relationship is already strong, intimate details tend to strengthen it. But if you open up too soon, it can derail a relationship. Being picky about what to divulge is a good idea. Be patient and invest time during which you figure out what you share, with whom, as well as when and where.

Allow the relationship to unfold

At work, it's okay to have relationships with people who are not your best friends. Remove the pressure to develop intimacy at work. Consider how to build each connection. Consider whether your intended share is important to the success of the work relationship. For example, if the team is going out socially after the customer meeting, you may feel like letting them know you're committed to your yoga class. However, you don't need to divulge that you're rebuilding a relationship with one of your classmates.

Think about the task at hand

When you’re deciding whether to share with others, think in concentric circles. Your close friends and family are in your inner circle and will know the most about you, but as you expand out from your centre, people may know less. When you build your relationship, try revealing a little, then followed by a bit more. Appreciate the diversity of relationships with a variety of people.

Consider the relationship type

Some things should be left unsaid in a work setting. Steer clear from politics or gossip. Other off-topic issues could include money, relationship challenges, or health issues.

Consider what is "off imits"

Give thought to the impact of your openness. Everything you share will leave an impression, even the throw-away statements you don't consider memorable in the moment. Consider if the information you share will strengthen or weaken someone's perception of you. Also, give thought to whether you want the information you share repeated to others. People may repeat what you said but not how you intended or out of context.

Consider the status of your career 

It’s possible to share just enough about yourself in order to be authentic, without getting too deep.


Allow the relationship to unfold

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