Basing your happiness on comparisons isn’t helpful because we are hopeless at setting reliable benchmarks for those comparisons”

<ul><li>Engage more and worry less about getting things perfect.</li><li>By trying to avoid negative interactions, you actively limit the opportunity for positive interactions.</li><li>Interactions are usually less awkward than you think, and the results are almost always surprisingly comforting.</li></ul>

Staying Worry Free And Being Okay With Imperfection

When we think of influence, we don’t generally tend to think about the influence we naturally have, which is why we probably have more influence than we think.<ul><li>Influence is so much more than social media engagement, it’s about understanding the psychology of your interactions.</li><li>Allowing yourself to look past your biases will reveal the natural influence you have in your everyday life.</li></ul>

Influence And Bias

We unfairly judge ourselves on the specifics of the conversation while we judge the other person on warmth and friendliness.Based on the referenced study, the actual likeness is about 12% higher than the perception.Audience Tuning Effect: Tendency to adjust our language and context based on who we are talking toSaying is Believing Effect: When we take audience tuning too far, we begin to muddy our own reality, memory, and opinionsThanks, but No Thanks Experiment: We overestimate how awkward it is to receive a compliment and we underestimate how good a compliment makes us feel

The Blind Spots Of Our Mind

<ul><li>The average person thinks they are less social than the average person</li><li>Logically, this can’t be true, so there’s plenty of bias involved in FOMO.</li><li>We have a tendency to compare ourselves to the maximum rather than the mean</li><li>Basing your happiness on comparisons isn’t helpful because we are hopeless at setting reliable benchmarks for those comparisons.</li></ul>

Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO)

Everyday people have more influence than they give themselves credit for.<ul><li>Marketing, advertising, and social media influencers have created an aggressive and flashy narrative around the influence that isn’t applicable to most people</li><li>The psychology of influence is so much more than just Twitter likes, it’s about understanding your everyday interactions.</li><li>So many “influence” books claim that you need to gain influence, and that you don’t have it already—but that’s simply not true. This false narrative only bolsters our biases and causes us to ignore our natural influences.</li></ul>

Gaining Vs Natural Influence

The Invisibility Cloak Illusion: Tendency to (incorrectly) believe that you notice people more than they notice youWe almost always underestimate how many people are paying attention to usThe Spotlight Effect: Tendency to overestimate how much others notice aspects of one’s appearance or behaviorThe Barry Manilow T-Shirt Experiment: People don’t actively notice your flaws as much as you thinkThe Liking Gap: Tendency to underestimate how much a conversation partner enjoyed the conversation and how much they liked you afterwards.

The Biases That Influence Our Perception Of Our Influence

Our biases and blindspots relating to us.

Nudge - Marketing Science Simplified✓Claim  Podcast Notes Key Takeaways “When we think of influence, we think of influences. But, we rarely think about ourselves. We don’t tend to think about the influence we naturally have, which is why you probably have more influence than you think.”– Phill AgnewInfluence is so much more than social media engagement, it’s about understanding the psychology of your interactionsAllowing yourself to look past your biases will reveal the natural influence you have in your everyday lifeVanessa and Phill explore the everyday biases that hold us back from seeing our natural influence:The Invisibility Cloak Illusion: Tendency to (incorrectly) believe that you notice people more than they notice youThe Spotlight Effect: Tendency to overestimate how much others notice aspects of one’s appearance or behaviorAnd more!“Basing your happiness on comparisons isn’t helpful because we are hopeless at setting reliable benchmarks for those comparisons”– Phill AgnewIt can’t be logically true for the average person to think they are less social than the average personEngage more and worry less about getting things perfectThe positive outcomes almost always outweigh the negativeDon’t be limited by perception—it’s usually incorrect anywayRead the full notes @ podcastnotes.orgWhen you think of influence you probably think of Beyonce, Ronaldo, or Obama. But you don’t think about yourself. In today’s show, Professor Vanessa Bohns talks about the influence you already have. She explains why we underestimate how many people like our company, why we overestimate how social our friends are, and how we change our views depending on who we’re talking to. Tune in and I guarantee you’ll learn something surprising about yourself. Vanessa’s book: https://www.vanessabohns.com/ Follow Vanessa on Twitter: https://twitter.com/profbohns Sign up for the Nudge Newsletter: https://www.nudgepodcast.com/mailing-list

Staying Worry Free And Being Okay With Imperfection

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