Be Nice to Yourself

All events have a backstory, a history, some amount of risk and sacrifice.

• If we focus on the event only, we will not be able to do anything with our lives.
• If we follow the process, daily making ourselves better and stay committed, we end up getting the life we desire.

As we know, exercise in any form makes us better.

Instead of complicating the process and making it a big event, just smoothen the daily process. Make a habit of going out to exercise by getting up early, wearing the right clothes, packing the gym bag at night, so that you remove friction from the activity.

Chances are you won't just wake up one day and suddenly change your life. To go where you want to go, you have to chart out a plan.

For example: If you feel the cue of smoking, replace the smoking with some other activity like having a cup of coffee.

Procrastination, or the way we let pending tasks linger on, just avoiding them, is one of the main reasons our goals don't materialize.

The longer any work is avoided the harder it becomes to eventually do it.

Like dishes piling up in the kitchen sink, they get harder and harder to do as the load increases.

Fear causes us to procrastinate. It can be:

• Fear of change
• Fear of leaving our comfort zone
• Fear of the unknown
• Fear of failure
• Fear of what other people would think of us

We justify these fears by imaginary different reasons, but the root cause is not related to our invented reasons, it is our inherent fear.

Our emotions motivate us more than willpower.

If we are generous, fair and co-operative, we have an invaluable tool to motivate us to complete our goals. If we cultivate good character, compassion, and honesty, it leads to a better chance of success in our endeavors.

1. Keep It Small — It’s about thinking big and acting small. You’ll achieve those big goals in time.

2. Measure Your Progress — If you don’t measure your progress, it’s safe to say that you are not making any. 

3. Be Accountable To Yourself — One of the most important skills you can learn in life is to be self-reliant. 

Behavior modification teaches us that we repeat behaviors that make us feel good. What’s your payoff for not changing? 

Until the goal becomes larger than the payoff, you’re always going to choose feeling good over feeling uncomfortable.

Start with one behavior at a time.

Instead of concentrating on losing 20 pounds in 20 days, for example, make a goal to simply begin by eating five fruits and vegetables a day.  

Writing down your goals will motivate you to take action.

Because articulating your intention is important, but it is not enough. You must execute your goals. 

Writing down your goals will provide a filter for other opportunities.

The more successful you become, the more you will be deluged with opportunities. But these opportunities can quickly become distractions that pull you off course.

• upholders: disciplined and respond to both internal and external expectations;
• obligers :can’t keep commitments to themselves but respond to expectations from others; 
• questioners: ask why and can keep a habit if they understand the logic reasoning; 
• rebels: hate being told what to do by others, so it has to be something they want to do.

• Many rely on a “streak” feature: they track how many consecutive days you’ve completed the habit;
• Other apps offer accountability features to pressure you into completing your goal; 
• Some apps turn habit formation into a game: The app rewards users who complete their habits with badges and other virtual incentives.

Come up with trackable goals like a number of words or pages per day. The specificity is important because being able to measure it allows you to keep track of your progress and better change your behavior. 

Keeping track of streaks is a very powerful tactic for developing any new habit. Knowing that you have consistently succeeded for a number of days helps you push through the days who are unmotivated.

Other ways to foster regularity: writing in a different style or genre, and doing your writing first thing in the morning.

Why we set our goals matters. If it is out of fear or social expectations, then they are not going to last.

Authentic values are what helps achieve our goals, as there is a never-ending supply of willpower when we are doing what aligns with our innermost core.

Resolving that you won't have any alcohol keeps the focus on the alcohol. Instead of focusing on what you don't want to do, focus on the positive aspect, like drinking more water.

Use gratitude and other positive emotions to steer your mind out of any pitfalls.