"You're going to love helping me!"

Helping does make people happy, but reminding them of this generally drains the joy out of helping. It reeks of manipulation and control, undermining the helper’s sense of autonomy, and it’s very presumptive.

Many people try to help a loved one make significant life changes but fail. They may try to help a spouse quit smoking or get a roommate out of an abusive relationship. They may feel that if they don't help, the person will come to ruin.

Instead of helping, they are engaged in enabling be...

1. The best support comes from just being there and making it clear that you’re available to listen to the things they want to share with you;
2. It can be frigthening to message someone who is grieving and check up on them, but don't let fear stop you f...