Focus on the benefactor

The motivation to be helpful is tied to your helper’s identity and self-esteem. People help because they want to be admired.

• Other-praising (Acknowledging and validating the character or abilities of the giver.) “You go out of your way …” or  “I feel like you’re really good at that.”

• Self-benefit (Describing how the receiver is better off for having been given help). “It let me relax.” or “It makes me happy.”