Learn more about communication with this collection
How to practice self-compassion
How to identify and challenge negative self-talk
How to build self-confidence
Focus on the person, not the problem
Our ability to solve problems is helpful in life, but it is the wrong thing to do in situations when people simply want to be heard, understood, and feel connected.
When someone is scared, angry, depressed, or just upset, they don't want to feel like something is wrong with them. When you give unsolicited advice to someone who is struggling, you make them feel like a problem. Give advice when someone asks for it, otherwise, hold off on your wisdom and instead focus on being present.
685
2.64K reads
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The ability to be a good listener
The idea of being a good listener is almost a cliche. Yet, most of us are terrible at it.
Becoming a good listener is not that difficult if you know where to start and are willing to practice. If cultivated, the quality of your most important relationships will dra...
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3.01K reads
Unsing open-ended questions
Being a good listener is not about getting the facts about what made them upset. It is to be supportive, offer encouragement, and empathize.
Ask open-ended questions to communicate that you're interested in them. Avoid questions beginning with 'Why' and use 'What' or 'How' instead....
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2.35K reads
Reflect on what you’re hearing
Paraphrase what the person has said back to you.
When we reflect back what another person is saying, we are making them feel heard and understood. When people feel genuinely heard, they feel connected.
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2.3K reads
Validate your own emotions
Defensiveness sabotages your ability to be a good listener. People become defensive when they feel threatened in a relationship.
The best way to avoid defensiveness and continue to listen well, even when you're upset, is to practice validating your own emotions. Say to yourself tha...
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2.07K reads
Validate the emotions of the other person
When we acknowledge and validate how someone feels, we send them the message that we understand them on a deeper level.
When we validate another person's emotion by naming it and acknowledging that we understand it, we give the other person the right to feel the way they d...
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2.23K reads
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Reflect on what you’re hearing
Paraphrase what the person has said back to you.
When we reflect back what another person is saying, we are making them feel heard and understood. When people feel genuinely heard, they feel connected.
Validate, Not Solve
When someone talks about their problems, we are jumping in the problem-solving mode straight away. While dealing with people, this approach can backfire.
A better approach is interacting with people is to just listen and validate their struggles, make them feel heard and unders...
Get out of the “Fix-it Mode”
Most people struggling emotionally don’t want someone to fix their pain, they went to feel understood.
Use Reflective listening. It means that when someone tells you something, you simply reflect back to them what they said, either literally or with your ow...
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