The idea of being a good listener is almost a cliche. Yet, most of us are terrible at it.

Defensiveness sabotages your ability to be a good listener. People become defensive when they feel threatened in a relationship.

Paraphrase what the person has said back to you.

Being a good listener is not about getting the facts about what made them upset. It is to be supportive, offer encouragement, and empathize.
Ask open-ended questions to communicate that you're interested in them. Avoid questions beginning with 'Why' and use 'What' or 'How' instead....

When we acknowledge and validate how someone feels, we send them the message that we understand them on a deeper level.