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How to help a friend through a tough time, according to a clinical psychologist
Offering support
Not every person feels comforted in the same way. Acknowledge that by asking "How can I support you?"
It expresses a desire to assist without jumping in to problem-solve.
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Key Ideas
Not Celebrating Your Success
It's never good enough, so you get sucked so far into the details that you become frustrated.
Even when your goal is complete and results in success, you believ...
Pursuing Perfection, But Never Feeling Perfect
Even if you have a clear goal of what perfection means, obsessively pursuing it is a sign of insecurity.
And insecurity, when not addressed directly, doesn’t go away because a concrete objective has been achieved, it manifests itself into self-criticism or a new overvalued goal.
Not Allowing Yourself To Fail
Instead of forgiving and viewing mistakes as a learning opportunity, you criticize and put pressure on yourself for not predicting a less than perfect outcome. You feel inadequate, and these feelings preoccupy your mind, often to the point of losing productivity.
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Key Ideas
History of existential therapy
- Its origins go back to the existential philosophers of the 20th century, mainly to Jean-Paul Sartre, who declared in 1943 that we are “condemned to be free.”
- Viktor Frankl wrote M...
Existential therapy has slowly been gaining recognition
In 2016, there were 136 existential-therapy institutions in 43 countries across six continents, and existential practitioners in at least 48 countries worldwide.
Recent studies show the benefits of using existential therapy for patients with advanced cancer, incarcerated individuals, and elderly people residing in nursing homes, among others; a number of meta-analyses have gathered data on its effectiveness.
What is existential therapy
Existential therapy concentrates on free will, self-determination, and the quest for meaning. It views experiences like as anxiety, alienation and depression as normal phases in the human development and maturation.
This process involves a philosophical examination of a person's experiences, emphasizing the person's freedom and responsibility to facilitate a higher degree of meaning and well-being in their life.
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The imposter
True mindfulness has been spoiled by an imposter. The imitation provides an excuse to be self-centered and self-indulgent. It promises health and spiritual purity.
Definition of mindfulness
Mindfulness is the nonjudgemental awareness of the richness, subtlety and variety of the present moment, not just of the self. It is not the same as meditation, although meditation can form part of it.
Mindfulness acknowledges every moment of existence, good and bad. It is used to stand still in the moment, reflect and gain perspective.
Mindfulness is a limited tool
Gazing inward to focus on a connection with yourself cannot deliver magical benefits. Acknowledging your thoughts is not the same as cherishing them.
While mindfulness has some usefulness, we should also realize the benefits when we lose self-awareness, for example when we are in a state of flow.