Offering support

Even if you have a clear goal of what perfection means, obsessively pursuing it is a sign of insecurity.

And insecurity, when not addressed directly, doesn’t go away because a concrete objective has been achieved, it manifests itself into self-criticism or a new overvalued goal.

Instead of forgiving and viewing mistakes as a learning opportunity, you criticize and put pressure on yourself for not predicting a less than perfect outcome. You feel inadequate, and these feelings preoccupy your mind, often to the point of losing productivity.

Mindfulness is the nonjudgemental awareness of the richness, subtlety and variety of the present moment, not just of the self. It is not the same as meditation, although meditation can form part of it.

Mindfulness acknowledges every moment of existence, good and bad. It is used to stand still in the moment, reflect and gain perspective.

Gazing inward to focus on a connection with yourself cannot deliver magical benefits. Acknowledging your thoughts is not the same as cherishing them.

While mindfulness has some usefulness, we should also realize the benefits when we lose self-awareness, for example when we are in a state of flow.

• Its origins go back to the existential philosophers of the 20th century, mainly to Jean-Paul Sartre, who declared in 1943 that we are “condemned to be free.”
• Viktor Frankl wrote Man’s Search for Meaning in 1946, and coined logotherapy as a method of creating meaning.
• Rollo May moved his perspective of the “existential-humanistic” approach in the 1950s from Europe to America.
• In 1980, Irvin Yalom defined the basis of the field of existential therapy, by establishing the four “givens” of the human condition: death, meaning, isolation, and freedom.
• Today there are a few different branches of existential therapy, but they all emphasize the fact that we can deal with existential givens in a way that can move us toward a free, authentic existence.

In 2016, there were 136 existential-therapy institutions in 43 countries across six continents, and existential practitioners in at least 48 countries worldwide.

Recent studies show the benefits of using existential therapy for patients with advanced cancer, incarcerated individuals, and elderly people residing in nursing homes, among others; a number of meta-analyses have gathered data on its effectiveness.

You will need to feel safe and secure and establish a connection with your therapist. It is reasonable to try out a few until you find the right one.

The right therapist will encourage and support you in making uncomfortable changes.

Ask your community for mental health specialists recommendations. Consider asking your GP, family, friends or local community.

Once you have a few names, look up their qualifications and read up about them.

The goal of ACT is not necessarily to reduce one's problematic thoughts and emotions. It is to help people effectively function while they are distressed and to promote more flexible and value-driven behaviors.
In other words, the primary goal is to promote 'valued living.'

Valued living is going about your daily life in the service of values you find important. Engaging in these actions creates a sense of meaning and purpose.

The symptoms of psychological suffering are problematic when they are linked to behaviors that draw us away from valued living.

Gratitude is a natural feeling humans are equipped with, and the problem arises when there is more of ingratitude in society.

To have the capacity to feel gratitude, you must be able to receive and accept something helpful or good from another person. It helps if this is something you see happening around you from infancy, so you can learn how it works.

The treatment for anxiety disorders involves intentionally approaching the feared situation without the safety behaviours.

It teaches us that anxiety does not last indefinitely but wanes over time. The urge to use the safety behaviors also decrease. We learn that our feared outcomes are unlikely to happen or that we can tolerate this uncertainty.

It is argued that safety behaviors need to be gradually reduced over time and not be eliminated all at once.

A study suggests that people may benefit from exposure therapy even if they do not eliminate all their safety behaviours at once. Continued use of unnecessary aids may prevent individuals from learning that they don't have to rely on safety behaviors.

• Some therapists are just there to listen and provide a backdrop.
• Even the silence that they exhibit seems to kindle the patients into divulging more of their most uncomfortable truths.
• Others keep the sequence of assignments and tests lined up, never pausing.
• Therapists play varied roles to get some valuable information out of the patient and make him better.

No particular form of therapy is proven to be better or more effective than others.

Different people prefer or respond to different forms of therapy.

• Stabilize your blood sugar, by eating hearty food (protein and fat) more often.
• Reduce refined carbs and increase fats and proteins.
• B-complex vitamin supplements can give you an immediate boost in alertness and mental clarity.
• Soak in an Epsom salt bath - might even help you get enough energy to exercise the next day.
• Drink more water than you usually do to help compensate.
• Exercise is the single best way to “take out the trash” in your body, and after staying up more hours than you should.

Good communicators:

• They are very good at listening
• They see how the other person is reacting and fir their responses accordingly
• They make space for the other person to make productive contributions.

• Don't start conversations with aggressive or challenging statements.
• See the difference between arguments that do and don't matter and let the insignificant things go.