Offering support - Deepstash

deepstash

Beta

Get an account to save ideas & make your own & organize them how you wish.

deepstash

Beta

How to help a friend through a tough time, according to a clinical psychologist

Offering support

Not every person feels comforted in the same way. Acknowledge that by asking "How can I support you?"

It expresses a desire to assist without jumping in to problem-solve.

95 SAVES


This is a professional note extracted from an online article.

Read more efficiently

Save what inspires you

Remember anything

IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

How to help a friend through a tough time, according to a clinical psychologist

How to help a friend through a tough time, according to a clinical psychologist

https://www.vox.com/first-person/2019/12/10/21003228/how-to-help-a-friend

vox.com

5

Key Ideas

Asking about feelings

The act of asking an open-ended question shows that you care. “What does that feel like?” or “What has been on your mind as you’re going through this?” Then, listen non-judgmentally to their response without interrupting or offering your opinion.

Willingness to understand

If someone, for instance, has received a new medical diagnosis, you can say, "It sounds like you're worried about the side effects of the treatment. Is that right?"

You can also express kindness by saying, “You’re in such a tough situation.” A facial expression is also a powerful way to show support.

Offering support

Not every person feels comforted in the same way. Acknowledge that by asking "How can I support you?"

It expresses a desire to assist without jumping in to problem-solve.

Negative thoughts

Emotional pain can feel unbearable at times, especially if people lack support. It may sometimes lead to harming thoughts.

If someone you care about is going through a tough time and had suicidal thoughts in the past, ask them directly if they are thinking of hurting themselves. Research shows that upfront questions may benefit them.

Reassurance

Statements like "Everything will be fine," or "It could be worse," rarely help.

Instead, try saying things like, "There's help available; we'll find it together," or “I’ve seen you get through extremely challenging times in the past, I believe in you.

SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Not Celebrating Your Success

It's never good enough, so you get sucked so far into the details that you become frustrated.

Even when your goal is complete and results in success, you believ...

Pursuing Perfection, But Never Feeling Perfect

Even if you have a clear goal of what perfection means, obsessively pursuing it is a sign of insecurity.

And insecurity, when not addressed directly, doesn’t go away because a concrete objective has been achieved, it manifests itself into self-criticism or a new overvalued goal.

Not Allowing Yourself To Fail

Instead of forgiving and viewing mistakes as a learning opportunity, you criticize and put pressure on yourself for not predicting a less than perfect outcome. You feel inadequate, and these feelings preoccupy your mind, often to the point of losing productivity.

5 more ideas

The imposter

True mindfulness has been spoiled by an imposter. The imitation provides an excuse to be self-centered and self-indulgent. It promises health and spiritual purity.

Definition of mindfulness

Mindfulness is the nonjudgemental awareness of the richness, subtlety and variety of the present moment, not just of the self. It is not the same as meditation, although meditation can form part of it.

Mindfulness acknowledges every moment of existence, good and bad. It is used to stand still in the moment, reflect and gain perspective.

Mindfulness is a limited tool

Gazing inward to focus on a connection with yourself cannot deliver magical benefits. Acknowledging your thoughts is not the same as cherishing them.

While mindfulness has some usefulness, we should also realize the benefits when we lose self-awareness, for example when we are in a state of flow.

What is existential therapy
What is existential therapy

Existential therapy concentrates on free will, self-determination, and the quest for meaning. It views experiences like as anxiety, alienation and depression as normal phases in the human d...

History of existential therapy
  • Its origins go back to the existential philosophers of the 20th century, mainly to Jean-Paul Sartre, who declared in 1943 that we are “condemned to be free.”
  • Viktor Frankl wrote Man’s Search for Meaning in 1946, and coined logotherapy as a method of creating meaning.
  • Rollo May moved his perspective of the “existential-humanistic” approach in the 1950s from Europe to America.
  • In 1980, Irvin Yalom defined the basis of the field of existential therapy, by establishing the four “givens” of the human condition: death, meaning, isolation, and freedom.
  • Today there are a few different branches of existential therapy, but they all emphasize the fact that we can deal with existential givens in a way that can move us toward a free, authentic existence.
Existential therapy has slowly been gaining recognition

In 2016, there were 136 existential-therapy institutions in 43 countries across six continents, and existential practitioners in at least 48 countries worldwide.

Recent studies show the benefits of using existential therapy for patients with advanced cancer, incarcerated individuals, and elderly people residing in nursing homes, among others; a number of meta-analyses have gathered data on its effectiveness.

Roles of psychologists and psychiatrists
  • Psychologists, in general, provide assessment and therapy in a group format or individually. The purpose is to improve a persons' well-being.
  • Clinical p...
Try a few therapists

You will need to feel safe and secure and establish a connection with your therapist. It is reasonable to try out a few until you find the right one.

The right therapist will encourage and support you in making uncomfortable changes.

Word of mouth

Ask your community for mental health specialists recommendations. Consider asking your GP, family, friends or local community.

Once you have a few names, look up their qualifications and read up about them.

The 'assumption of healthy normality'

There is an assumption that emotional pain and suffering is a deviation from a default happy baseline. However, it's incorrect. Psychological pain is everywhere. 

Resea...

Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT)

The goal of ACT is not necessarily to reduce one's problematic thoughts and emotions. It is to help people effectively function while they are distressed and to promote more flexible and value-driven behaviors.
In other words, the primary goal is to promote 'valued living.'

Valued living

Valued living is going about your daily life in the service of values you find important. Engaging in these actions creates a sense of meaning and purpose.

The symptoms of psychological suffering are problematic when they are linked to behaviors that draw us away from valued living.

3 more ideas

Gratitude promotes wellbeing

Gratitude, the feeling of being thankful, is known to increase wellbeing, with studies showing that it:

  • Protects from stress and depression
  • Makes relationships more fulfilling
Gratitude branding
Gratitude has been repackaged and sold by personalities like Oprah, Arianna Huffington and Richard Branson who are touting the benefits of feeling grateful as a universal remedy for everything.
Society and gratitude

Gratitude is a natural feeling humans are equipped with, and the problem arises when there is more of ingratitude in society.

To have the capacity to feel gratitude, you must be able to receive and accept something helpful or good from another person. It helps if this is something you see happening around you from infancy, so you can learn how it works.

one more idea

Safety Behaviors May Not Be Helpful

Safety behaviours can be damaging as they play a critical role in the maintenance of anxiety. We rely on crutches to get us through low-risk situations and then believe that the crutches were the r...

Exposure Therapy

The treatment for anxiety disorders involves intentionally approaching the feared situation without the safety behaviours.

It teaches us that anxiety does not last indefinitely but wanes over time. The urge to use the safety behaviors also decrease. We learn that our feared outcomes are unlikely to happen or that we can tolerate this uncertainty.

Slowly decrease safety behaviors

It is argued that safety behaviors need to be gradually reduced over time and not be eliminated all at once.

A study suggests that people may benefit from exposure therapy even if they do not eliminate all their safety behaviours at once. Continued use of unnecessary aids may prevent individuals from learning that they don't have to rely on safety behaviors.

The Way Therapy Works
There is growing research on how therapy actually works. Psychological communication, dialogue, and intervention can work even better than pills.
This seems eve...
Therapy Techniques
  • Some therapists are just there to listen and provide a backdrop.
  • Even the silence that they exhibit seems to kindle the patients into divulging more of their most uncomfortable truths.
  • Others keep the sequence of assignments and tests lined up, never pausing.
  • Therapists play varied roles to get some valuable information out of the patient and make him better.
Therapy That Works

No particular form of therapy is proven to be better or more effective than others.

Different people prefer or respond to different forms of therapy.

5 more ideas

Sleep deprivation
Sleep deprivation

Willpower, memory, judgement, and attention all suffer when you are sleep deprived.

You drop things, crave junk food sugar, overeat, gain weight. You’re more irritable, negative, emotio...

Get through sleep deprivation:
  • Stabilize your blood sugar, by eating hearty food (protein and fat) more often.
  • Reduce refined carbs and increase fats and proteins.
  • B-complex vitamin supplements can give you an immediate boost in alertness and mental clarity.
  • Soak in an Epsom salt bath - might even help you get enough energy to exercise the next day.
  • Drink more water than you usually do to help compensate.
  • Exercise is the single best way to “take out the trash” in your body, and after staying up more hours than you should.
Better conversations

They're usually the conversations with minimum friction, repetition and misunderstanding, and maximum alignment between the people that take part in it.

A good communicator

Good communicators:

  • They are very good at listening
  • They see how the other person is reacting and fir their responses accordingly
  • They make space for the other person to make productive contributions.
What to avoid
  • Don't start conversations with aggressive or challenging statements.
  • See the difference between arguments that do and don't matter and let the insignificant things go.

one more idea