Learn more about personaldevelopment with this collection
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Don’t Do It Alone
When we seek to change a habit that we think is embarrassing, we usually try to do it in private, so no one can see our shame. This is a mistake.
Doing it alone is very, very hard, and it also reinforces the idea that we are doing something shameful, and that we should be doing this on our own. It’s stronger to do it with the help of others. Using other people’s support is just a more robust approach.
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Practice Awareness & the Powerful Pause
When the compulsion to do the old habit happens, if you’re not aware of the urge, you’re likely to obey it without questioning it. It’s an imperative, without awareness.
The key is to develop awareness of the urge so that you can notice it and not think of it as an imperati...
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Remove Judgment, Add Compassion
We’re usually pretty judgmental about our compulsive habits. It’s a part of ourselves that we hate or a confirmation that we’re somehow bad or inadequate.
This kind of harsh judgment is a defense mechanism meant to help us get better. Beating ourselves up only makes us crav...
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Persistent, Patient Commitment
- Ask yourself if you really want to commit yourself fully to changing a habit. Sleep on it, and ask yourself again, before you half commit.It will come with difficulty, falling on your face, and a new way of seeing yourself. Is this something you want?
- If the answer is absolute yes … ...
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Why We Have Compulsive Habits
We don’t do unhelpful things with the intent to harm ourselves, for the most part. We do them because the unhelpful habit is meeting some need.
- The need might be something like:
- I’m bored and want a dopamine hit
- I feel bad about myself and want to ...
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Change Your Environment
Change your environment, so that you aren’t likely to do the old habit. Ask people who live and work with you to hold you accountable.
Making it hard to do the old compulsive habit is called “Creating a Moat.” Don’t let your future self, at a moment of weakness, have a...
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CURATED FROM
IDEAS CURATED BY
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Other curated ideas on this topic:
"Traveling" trough our memories
This idea may sound a bit weird and even sad, but it has a real potential of comforting and sustaining us when we are in distress.
We usually are very negligent when it comes to curating our own memories: we push the important events at the back of our minds. But i
Force yourself to do things
Our mind has muscles. It memorizes patterns. By doing this over and over, you're building your willpower and self-discipline.
Forcing yourself to do things that you don't feel like doing (but you know you should be doing) is a habit you can learn.
What Do I Do? How Do I Do It?
If you’ve ever pushed hard or cared deeply about something then you’ve probably experienced a feeling of being lost. Perhaps this manifests as being unsure of what to do next; unsure of how to do it; or even unsure of why you’re ...
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