<div class="insight_content">When having arguments, avoid making statements and use questions instead. These tend to come across as less confrontational. Examples of questions:</div><ul><li>Genuine questions to better understand the other position. After you receive and answer to them, state back to the other person, in your own words, their beliefs, to confirm you actually get it.</li><li>Questions aimed at the inconsistencies of the other part, but in a non-accusatory way.</li></ul>

Asking Questions

... without making enemies:
<ul>
<li>Make sure you communicate you are not there to fight (using your tone of voice, for example).</li>
<li>Avoid making statements; instead, ask questions.</li>
<li>Defend yourself with confidence, but without coming across as antagonistic.</li>
</ul>

Win Arguments

<ul>
<li>Slowing things down: take a deep breath before speaking, to create a pause, to reduce the tension and to open up the other person to your position.</li>
<li>Inflections: upward inflections are good for de-escalating conflict because they show you are not there to control and command.</li>
<li>The ability to crack a joke and the ability to take a joke and laugh make you more persuasive, give the impression of being on the same side and release the tension.</li>
</ul>

Releasing Tension

When you're in the middle of an argument, frame your disagreements in the form of questions.
This gives the other person a chance to respond without feeling cornered and threatened.

The Socratic Method

<ul>
<li>In every argument, you are not necessarily right.</li>
<li>Adjusting your beliefs in the face of evidence does not diminish you.</li>
<li>If you did your part of trying to understand the other position and they are still wrong, this is never because they are evil, but because they are ignorant to a certain extent.</li>
</ul>

The Right Mindset

<div>"I don't want to destroy you. I want to engage with you. And I think ... if you have ideas you believe in, you should be willing to engage or you should be willing to test those ideas against somebody that you don't agree with."  </div>

<div>Use the " Yes, but..." technique: find agreement and follow your agreement up by showing when you disagree.</div>Finding any form of agreement is crucial in winning an argument, even if your position if perfectly logical. But you have to know exactly when you agree with someone (regarding which parts of their position) and when you don't.

Defending Yourself

<div>When the conversation gets heated, we tend to raise our voices and talk faster. This is a dangerous path because now the ability of both sides to change their minds is close to zero. We dig even deeper into our initial positions and beliefs and no matter how good an argument is, it is not going to be received by the other side.</div>You can sense this happening when people rush to talk over one another.

Raising Your Voice

Check out our podcast: https://bit.ly/2HkV85n Want to start a Global Language channel? Apply here: https://www.charismaoncommand.com/ytflc/ Subscribe to Charisma On Command’s YouTube Account: http://bit.ly/COC-Subscribe Sometimes arguments can get heated and spiral out of control. So while we all want to win an argument, not making an enemy in the process can be even more important. Which is why today we’ll be looking at Trevor Noah and what you can learn from him about coming out of verbal scruffs not only on top, but looking cool calm and collected. ⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰ 0:28 - #1: Sub-communicate that you're not there for a fight. 3:46 - #2: Ask questions instead of making statements. 6:39 - #3: Confidently defend yourself without coming across as antagonistic. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- #TrevorNoah #CharismaOnCommand -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Connect with us further: Website: http://www.charismaoncommand.com Facebook: http://facebook.com/charismaoncommand Instagram: @CharismaOnCommand Or if you want to see our personal stuff: Instagram: @CharlieHoupert Instagram: @IamBenAltman

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

Join 14,000+ members at Charisma University! https://www.charismaoncommand.com/c-university/

Check out our podcast:
https://bit.ly/2HkV85n

Want to start a Global Language channel? Apply here:
https://www.charismaoncommand.com/ytflc/

Subscribe to Charisma On Command’s YouTube Account: 
http://bit.ly/COC-Subscribe
 
 
Sometimes arguments can get heated and spiral out of control. So while we all want to win an argument, not making an enemy in the process can be even more important. 
 
Which is why today we’ll be looking at Trevor Noah and what you can learn from him about coming out of verbal scruffs not only on top, but looking cool calm and collected.
 
 
⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰ 
 
0:28 - #1: Sub-communicate that you're not there for a fight.
3:46 - #2: Ask questions instead of making statements.
6:39 - #3: Confidently defend yourself without coming across as antagonistic.
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 #TrevorNoah #CharismaOnCommand
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 
Connect with us further:
Website: http://www.charismaoncommand.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/charismaoncommand
Instagram: @CharismaOnCommand
Or if you want to see our personal stuff:
Instagram: @CharlieHoupert
Instagram: @IamBenAltman

Want to be more charismatic and confident?  We make videos to help you learn how to be more confident, how to make people laugh, how to be more likable - basically everything about exuding charisma.  Relationships in life are everything, so we want to teach you to turn on your most confident, charismatic self in the moments that matter most.

For Charisma University, go to https://www.charismaoncommand.com/c-university/

For speaking inquiries, please submit your information here https://www.charismaoncommand.com/speaking

For sponsorships, please submit your information here https://www.charismaoncommand.com/sponsorships/

Thanks!

Releasing Tension

Similar ideas to Releasing Tension

How to do it (2)

Strategies For Successful Courageous Conversation

Singing releases tension in your diaphragm