It is misleading to think of anger as a negative emotion. A hot pan on the stove isn’t bad or negative just because it leads to you feeling pain when you accidentally rest your thumb on it. It is a good thing because it alerts your body to a dangerous situation.
We think of anger as a negative emotion because it often precedes a negative behavior. Because the behavior is bad or negative doesn't mean the feeling that came before it is.
Dealing with other people's anger can be challenging, confusing, and sometimes terrifying-especially if it's someone we're close to like a spouse, parent, or co-worker. In this article, I'm going to teach you how to think about and handle other people's anger like a professional psychologist would.
We can try and validate the anger felt by an individual by making them know that their anger is maybe justified while putting firm but respectful boundaries on their aggression.
We then need to be clear about what type of aggression we are willing to tolerate, setting boundaries on the unacceptable.
We may have to put our foot down and be ready to leave the conversation or escalate the issue, without falling into the trap of guilt and emotion.
If possible, we need to restart the conversation when things have cooled down, and diffuse the issue in a calm way.
Unchecked self-talk can easily turn into self-delusion. The stories we create almost always make you look like the good guy and cannot be termed as objective.
The way to get out of this speculative self-delusion is to avoid any speculation about other people's anger, at least initially.
Make sure to note down the facts of the situation. This can make the story less according to your gut instinct, and more towards the objective reality.
They're one inch from your face, boiling with rage, screaming and yelling at you. And all you want to do is scream and yell back. But you know that's not going to be good for anyone... I've talked before about how to deal with others who are angry and irrational, but how can you control those emotions in yourself?
Anger is characterised by an intense feeling of displeasure, ranging from frustration to rage. It includes a physiological response like increased heart rate and muscle tension, th...
A provocation or trigger. It's what happened right before you got angry (being cut off in traffic, or insulted by someone, for example)
The person's interpretation of the provocation. When you blow things out of proportion, overgeneralise, or label people in inflammatory ways, you become angrier than you otherwise would
Their mood at the time, such as tired, stressed, hungry, already angry.
Is your anger justified? Consider if you've really been wronged or treated unfairly, and what the real consequences of that are.
What does your anger tell you about the situation? When you think your anger is justified, what is your anger communicating to you about the circumstances? Your anger may come from the stress of the coming day.
What does your anger tell you about yourself? Anger can tell you a lot about your values and needs. It can give you a better understanding of what to do next.