deepstash
Beta
We all make snap first impressions about each other - here's how to slow down
Open and Aware
Use your awareness and follow the S.T.O.P. rule: "See The Other Person."
Looking at the other person is like stopping at a four-way intersection, where we need to observe, pausing for a moment, and then go forward.
64 SAVES
This is a professional note extracted from an online article.
Read more efficiently
Save what inspires you
Remember anything
IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:
5
Key Ideas
First Impressions
Usually, when we meet or see a person, we create a first impression in our minds, almost unconsciously.
But the snap judgements, or quick conclusions our mind starts to entertain in the first instance, can be drastically wrong.
The Receiving End
A snap judgement, or an unfair first impression can be a learning experience for the one who has made it, but it can also be a lifetime scar for the one on the receiving end, as it can stick with them.
The Stare
We have a natural instinct to stare at someone to gather information and categorize the person as safe or dangerous.
It is valid in some situations but it can also be hurtful and antagonizing to the other person.
The Five-Second Rule
Instead of unconsciously staring, and subsequently judging the other person, a better way is to consciously observe.
For five seconds, see the other person, without making assumptions, judgements or wrong impressions, and just observe neutrally.
Open and Aware
Use your awareness and follow the S.T.O.P. rule: "See The Other Person."
Looking at the other person is like stopping at a four-way intersection, where we need to observe, pausing for a moment, and then go forward.
SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
4
Key Ideas
Stop entering relationships
... that you know are doomed. We should not be pursuing every relationship that comes our way, but only those relationships that have the potential to work.
Get curious about how you act
... when you’re in a relationship. Think about those four horsemen of the relationships apocalypse: criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling and how often do you exhibit any of them.
Try to observe your actions and strive to understand the reasons behind them.
Relationship as a partnership
It helps to view your relationship as a “work of art” that you two are co-creating together, in real-time.
The work-of-art mindset can help counter that pessimistic self-narrative. Instead, you get to stop thinking about yourself and what you’re gaining or losing in your relationship, and you get to start thinking about what you have to offer.
one more idea
4
Key Ideas
Defensive failure
It's what occurs when we want to achieve something and we think about it constantly but we don't do it.
This happens because of a few mental blocks that are keeping us locked in this c...
“I just don’t think I can do this”
Experiencing a rocky start is enough sometimes to discourage us from going any further and we convince ourselves we don't have what it takes to do a certain task.
How to outsmart it: Develop a growth mindset and try to see each failure as just an opportunity to learn.
“People like me aren’t good at this”
While our identities can give us a sense of meaning and a place in the world, sometimes they can get in our way when we’re attempting new things: many of us will avoid doing anything that threatens our sense of self.
How to outsmart it: Find people like you, that are doing the things you'd like to do and share your concerns with them.
one more idea
8
Key Ideas
Misunderstanding body language
Contrary to popular belief, body language in the context of public speaking is more than hand and arm gesture.
It means adjusting the way we stand, move and smile to capture and hold the atte...
What puts an audience off
- We indicate that we are feeling threatened when we take a step back or we show any sign of a closed body language.
- Crossing our arms also shows nervousness and it puts our audience in a defensive mode.
- Your end up showing that you feel superior to the rest of the room if you tilt your head backward.
Match your gestures to your message
Match your gestures to your words.
We are visual creatures, and any movement used in the right way in this direction will spark the attention of your audience. Just try not to abuse this rule.
5 more ideas