We have a natural instinct to stare at someone to gather information and categorize the person as safe or dangerous.It is valid in some situations but it can also be hurtful and antagonizing to the other person.

The Stare

Usually, when we meet or see a person, we create a first impression in our minds, almost unconsciously.But the snap judgements, or quick conclusions our mind starts to entertain in the first instance, can be drastically wrong.

First Impressions

A snap judgement, or an unfair first impression can be a learning experience for the one who has made it, but it can also be a lifetime scar for the one on the receiving end, as it can stick with them.

The Receiving End

Instead of unconsciously staring, and subsequently judging the other person, a better way is to consciously observe.For five seconds, see the other person, without making assumptions, judgements or wrong impressions, and just observe neutrally.

The Five-Second Rule

Use your awareness and follow the S.T.O.P. rule: "See The Other Person."Looking at the other person is like stopping at a four-way intersection, where we need to observe, pausing for a moment, and then go forward.

Open and Aware

This post is part of TED's "How to Be a Better Human" series, each of which contains a piece of helpful advice from people in the TED community; browse through all the posts here. When was the last time you came to a quick conclusion about someone, only to find out that it was really wrong?

Open and Aware

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