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The age of envy: how to be happy when everyone else's life looks perfect

The Envy Is Real

We have the smartphones that we carry with us 24/7, always able to catch what other people are up to and feel envious about it.

Even if we use logic and intellect to tell ourselves that the images that we see on social media may not be real or factual, as they can be edited/filtered, they still affect us on an emotional level.

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The age of envy: how to be happy when everyone else's life looks perfect

The age of envy: how to be happy when everyone else's life looks perfect

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/oct/09/age-envy-be-happy-everyone-else-perfect-social-media

theguardian.com

6

Key Ideas

Hyper Envy

As people get more and more connected through social media and internet-based tools, they get exposed to things that make them envious.

Envy has always existed, but in the age of social media, it has become 'hyper-envy' or an extreme form of envy.

Comparisons With Everyone

The world has gotten smaller due to social media, as everything is instantly visible to all.

A few years ago, we just had our neighbors to compare with and were oblivious of the rest of the world. Now everyone is accessible and comparisons are rife.

The Envy Is Real

We have the smartphones that we carry with us 24/7, always able to catch what other people are up to and feel envious about it.

Even if we use logic and intellect to tell ourselves that the images that we see on social media may not be real or factual, as they can be edited/filtered, they still affect us on an emotional level.

Universal Envy

All age groups and social classes of people feel envy when they see their peers, family, and friends on social media, apparently doing better than they are.

Some may find the youthful looks and hair envious, while others may find the displayed lifestyle to be stirring them emotionally.

Self-Envy

It is an emotional feeling of being envious of our own created avatar on social media.

When a person curates, edits and filters his life to show the very best, it doesn't seem to match the actual life led by the person, making it seem like someone else.

Envy and Hatred

Envy is much more than just craving the lifestyle a person sees his friends or peers having.

Envy is deep-rooted hatred, a feeling of wanting to destroy the other person who you think is having a better life than you are. It is silently destructive and malice oriented.

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What Self-Reflection Is

Is the process of thinking back on previous events and interpreting them through your experience. 

It’s about taking a step back and reflecting on your life, behavior and beliefs....

The Importance of Self-Reflection

  • It improve self-awareness.
  • It allows you to understand and see things from a different point of view. 
  • It allows you to respond, not react.
  • It facilitates a deeper level of learning.
  • It improves confidence.
  • It makes you challenge your assumptions.

The Process of Self-Reflection

  • STOP: Take a step back from life or a particular situation.
  • LOOK: Identify and get perspective on what you notice and see.
  • LISTEN: Listen to your inner guide, the innate wisdom that bubbles up when you give it time and space to emerge.
  • ACT: Identify the steps you need to take moving forward to adjust, change or improve.

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Seeking Therapy

Finding the right therapist for one's psychological problems can be a daunting task. It takes time and effort but can be done if one is equipped with the right information.

It is common ...

Kinds of Therapy

Most therapists are equipped with multiple approaches and can tailor them based on one's specific needs. The two common types of therapy are:

  • Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy(CBT): Identifies and monitors and corrects unhealthy behavioral patterns. It is effective in treating general anxiety.
  • Psychodynamic Therapy: Goes deep into one's past, family, and relationships. It is considered effective in treating certain disorders and depression.

Finding The Right Therapist

  • In looking for the right therapist, it is best to locate one through a referral, if your friends are comfortable providing one.
  • You can also search the internet, looking for licensed practitioners in your area. 
  • Take a look at your insurance plans database and see if you find a good one that can also be covered by insurance.
  • A good therapist may not have a big online footprint. Shortlist about five therapists and get in touch with them personally.

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Outliers are extreme examples of people who are on the outer edge of success or have a radically different life, glorified by the media.

Following Outliers leads normal people to make decisions based on false hope and highly unlikely possibilities.



Unique Circumstances

We need safe, nurturing environments to be our best, to blossom into what we truly are destined for, no matter how big or small, in our unique way.

We are provided with unnecessary pain and suffering by the constant comparison with people who are born radically different from us and are having different circumstances. 

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