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Has Listening Become a Lost Art?
Avoiding Authentic Dialogue
Most people have gotten used to others not listening to what they want to say, so they have stopped demanding others to listen.
Most of the talk doesn't go beyond the usual jokes and social niceties, as deeply personal talk is now being considered as a burden on others.
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No One Listens Anymore
Most of us have encountered people around us, friends, family or colleagues, who aren't the best of listeners.
As the world gets more and more connected and complicated, listening is turning out to be a neglected aspect of communications. Whether it's the news on TV, where authentic talk hardly exists, or how a conversation is portrayed in movies, people don't see other people listening to something quietly and actively.
The 2016 Debacle
The Political landscapes across the globe were proving drastically wrong forecasts, with improbably wrong polling data.
The mainstream media, which is relying on social media for most of the data, was misleading because of it, and the political forecasters were not listening to what needed to be listened to.
Data-Driven Approach Backfires
By deriving polling data from social media and quoting trending soundbites from Twitter and Facebook, real voices that may not be trending and of any interest to politicians, lobbyists, activists or business interests are losing ground.
Millions of Bot Fans
Fake accounts and bots are repeating the narrative across the internet to shape the perception as per need.
Politicians and Pop Celebs have millions of fake followers and bots to derive likes and trend their posts, setting the stage for what is to be paid attention to.
The 1% Rule
This rule states that only a small section of users (around 1%) in any given platform (Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and many others) post any content actively.
9% are occasional contributors, and the rest 90% of them are a silent majority only looking at content that is posted by others.
Avoiding Authentic Dialogue
Most people have gotten used to others not listening to what they want to say, so they have stopped demanding others to listen.
Most of the talk doesn't go beyond the usual jokes and social niceties, as deeply personal talk is now being considered as a burden on others.
Face to Face
It is getting awkward for some to talk face to face, and email or text conversations seem more efficient and lead to better screening.
Sitting with a person face to face, without disturbance and listening to what is being said is now almost a lost art.
Listening is Hard
Due to an increase in distractions, listening now takes a lot more effort than before.
The ability to listen carefully diminishes if one is not using it often, so it is imperative that we practice this lost skill more.
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Good listening
Good listening doesn't follow a technique as much as being willing to enter into another person's life.
Listening through the screen of your own desires means that you are listening to your own voice and desires. It is the same as not listening at all. Listening demands wiping the slate of your mind clean.
Not knowing what to say
Not knowing what to say when someone confides in you is a daunting feeling. However, we feel that way because we mistakenly think the person reaching out is asking for an explanation.
It is more important just to be there, so the other person doesn't feel alone.
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Conversational Narcissism
Is to seek to hold the attention of a conversation on oneself. It occasionally manifests on the average person when we pretend to be listening, but we were really focusing on what we wa...
Active Listening
Is to not judge or analyze what the person is saying at first. Just focusing on listening and trying to understand their perspective.
The Three Components of Active Listening
- Paraphrase: Consists of repeating at the speakers a summary of what they say, so they feel understood.
- Inquire: Obtain all the information that is relevant to the resolution of the issue.
- Acknowledge: Once the issue is made clear, communicate to your counterpart that you understand it.
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Open Your Ears
Don’t jump to advanced listening techniques if you have poor listening skills as you’re very likely to get overwhelmed.
Start by just opening your ears, closing your mouth and looking the ...
What Someone Closed to Listening Thinks
- How does this impact me?
- When have I experienced this?
- What would I do about this?
- Where can I take this conversation?
- What do I need to tell?
5 Roadblocks To Listening
- Disinterest in connecting.
- Long-talkers and explainers who never get to the point!
- Knowledge. Talkers know.
- Distraction by what’s next.
- Multi-tasking.