Quote by Caryl Rusbult - Deepstash

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"It is not so much the good, constructive things that partners do or do not do for one another that determines whether a relationship 'works' as it is the destructive things that they do or do not do in reaction to the problems."

CARYL RUSBULT

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MORE IDEAS FROM THE SAME ARTICLE

The Negativity Effect magnifies and distorts your partner's faults, whether real or imaginary.

The partner starts to wonder why isn't there any appreciation for all the good that is being done, and why the focus is only on the one bad thing.

There are four ways a partner response to something he or she doesn't like in the other:

  1. Ignore.
  2. Talk and find some solution.
  3. Keep sulking while providing silent treatment.
  4. Try to break up or start looking for other partners.

A new relationship that looks promising can make us think it will be happy forever, as we feel happy at that time.

A study shows that even after a couple of years the same people who were happy which each other show different kinds of behaviour, both positive and negative.

Relationships, especially long-term ones, don't get better with time but are kept intact by avoiding decline.

Married couples find contentment in other sources and remain satisfied with each other, and if not so, then the marriage breaks down.

... or the Negativity Effect is a tendency most of us have to respond more strongly to negative events and emotions than to positive ones.
Any further action that is provoked due to the negative judgement can lead to a downward spiral in our communication. O...

Negativity seems to be less of a problem in same‑sex couples.

Both male and female couples tend to be more positive than heterosexual couples when dealing with conflict, both in the way that they introduced a disagreement and in the way that they responded to the criticism, ...

The “female‑demand, male‑withdrawal” is the most known conflict pattern in heterosexual couples.

This happens when women start complaining or initiate criticism and men respond by withdrawing.

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Humor In A relationship

A sense of humor is desirable in a relationship, as people, especially men seem more desirable if they are funny.

The humor effect is not universally the same, with short-term relationships getting a boost, but falling short in the long-term game.

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Conflict mistaken for passion

Arguments and disagreements in relationships are normal, but screaming matches and every day fighting isn’t.

People who seek out conflict in their relationship for the intense reconciliation are often addicted to the dopamine that they get after the fight is over – which is...

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Responding To Urgency

Stay-in-love couples are authentic, open, and self-reliant, but they also urgently need one another at times. They trust each other won’t take advantage of their availability but know that when urgency calls, their partner will rapidly respond. Their mutual goals are to resolve and to r...

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