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Why Do People Mistake Narcissism for High Self-Esteem?
Emerging Zone and Enduring Zone
- Narcissists may seem alluring because they seem like a catch, living in the 'emerging zone' of life, which manifests itself in parties, early-stage relationships, and places where making a good first impression is key.
- When narcissists move towards the 'enduring zone', which involves continuing a relationship, and long-term consequences, they start behaving arrogantly and negatively.
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Narcissists Will Catch Our Eye
In spite of the exhibitionism, arrogance, vanity and a massive superiority complex, narcissists seem attractive, and alluring to a large section of people.
This surprising outcome may be due to people confusing narcissism with positive self-worth and high self-esteem.
The First Impression
While people perceive narcissism to be an undesirable quality in others, the first impression that gets created in seeing a narcissist is a positive one.
It may be due to the narcissists strategically presenting themselves in ways in which they are perceived having high levels of self-esteem.
Self-Esteem in Dating and Politics
Dating profiles report more attraction towards the flashy narcissists who show off their 'sex-appeal' upfront. Even in politics, people tend to gravitate towards candidates who show positive self-esteem or narcissism.
A flashy attire, or showing off while dating is a trait of narcissists, not of those with healthy self-esteem, who have a stable sense of worth.
It is crucial that we accurately distinguish between narcissism and healthy self-esteem, both as a perceiver and as a person addicted to esteem.
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They have inflated views of themselves (they think they are better than they actually are).
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Don't deal with them
Narcissists lack empathy, they usually don’t work hard, and in a few weeks to a few months, they make the people around them miserable. And narcissism is very hard to change. So, if at all possible, just stay away.
Kiss Up Or Shut Up
Clinical psychologist Al Bernstein recommends you kiss up to them or at least keep your mouth shut until you can get out of there.
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Many narcissists can come across as alluring and attractive, especially during the initial stages of a relationship.
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Lack of Reliability and Follow Through
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When you observe a pattern of inconsistency between what your partner says, versus what she or he actually does, you may be dealing with a narcissist.
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Charismatic professionals execute a certain magnetism and presence that automatically lead others to endorse them as leaders.
They have high levels of energy, unconventional behaviour and seem to be doing heroic deeds. We seem to be hardwired to seek and endorse over-glorified 'Superhero' like leaders.
Narcissist Leaders
Charismatic leaders can also be narcissists in some cases, having self-serving and grandiose intentions, taking advantage of their followers and abusing their power.
Even though they are generally perceived as arrogant, their bold vision and fearless attitude make them radiate an image of effective leaders, making them a high-risk, high-reward proposition.
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